(sorta) Wordless Wednesday - Birthday and Beyond

BIRTHDAY








Thank you again, Keara, for this shot!








BEYOND
Sunny days . . . sweepin' the clouds away . . .

Unscheduled

TO-DO, Monday:

Weekly Home Blessing
launder bed linens
balance checkbook
menu plan and grocery list
target (maybe)

Noticeably Absent From My List, but Priority Number One On Aliza Joy's List:

Wake up for a party in the middle of the night
Invited guests - Mom and me
Party for an hour
When it looks like Mom is sufficiently partied out, fall contentedly back to sleep

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Although it's not my idea of fun, there is something sorta magical about being up in the middle of the night. It's so deeply, darkly quiet. The humming of baby monitor static is the only accompaniment to the lyrical thoughts that get shoved to the side during the day.

At about 3 am this morning, I was in the dark, quiet living room bouncing AJ in my arms and indulging in a stolen moment with the Lord. How long had it been since we were able to talk with no interruptions? I asked Him how on earth I was going to be able to function the next day, what with this unscheduled appointment nearly guaranteeing a slow-down to the day's master plan?

These words gently filled my mind . . .

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Cor. 12:9 (NIV)

Sometimes it seems as if there is no rest for the weary. How it ministers to me to know I don't have to do this thing by my(weak)self.

Bit O' Crunchy, January 18th: CLOTH DIAPERING

So, raise your hand if you read Time magazine.

Really? Wow, more than I would have thought.

As you may have guessed, I don't get a chance to read it much. (If there's a magazine in my hands, it's either Texas Monthly or Better Homes.) But a friend pointed out a recent Time article on cloth diapering that I thought I would share here. It's a quick read if ya have a minute.

Most of you know I use cloth diapers - sorta. I started cloth diapering back when D was about eight months old or so. I was pretty religious about it with her until I got pregnant with AJ, and then my passion for most everything fizzled out as I focused on just surviving the first trimester with a toddler underfoot. By the time I recovered from those days of glory, D had outgrown most of her stash and I just knew potty learning was around the corner, so we went back to disposables for the remainder of her diaper days (which was, by the way, so much longer than I had anticipated).

Fast forward to sweet AJ's arrival and I was so excited to use those teeny, tiny, precious cloth diapers. For now, we use cloth at home and "sposies" out of the house. Because we were out of the house so much over the holidays, I used sposies exclusively on AJ for several weeks. Can I be honest? I was quite enjoying the tossability of it all. But then one day I looked at the bulging garbage bag of dirty diapers waiting to make it's way to the dump where it would spend who knows how many years not decomposing and some crunchy guilt started to creep over me.

So I have AJ back in cloth at home and am feeling much less guilt in that area of life. Oh, I still have plenty guilt leftover for other areas, but at least in the diapering department, I am feeling okay about things.

All of this is to say I am always available to talk cloth diapers. I have tried just about any and every kind being made today. If you click the "cloth diapering" label in my sidebar, you can read more . . . ad nauseum.

Wanna see what's covering wee one's buns these days? Here's a peek at the stash:

Top drawer: prefolds - lots of them. Indians, Chinese, and my faves - the yellow edges from Green Mountain Diaper. I pin ours to go under wool or trifold to lay in covers. None of that snappi business for us, but I know it works great for others.

Middle drawer, left to right: tons of fleece topped hemp doublers (thanks, Amanda!); front center, sustainable babyish flats; back center, standard cotton birdseye flats (folded in origami fold); right, various and sundry fitteds

Bottom drawer: all kinds of pockets and a few all-in-two's (again, thank you Amanda!)

And since it's winter, here are my current faves for wool longies: left - Harper pea pod recycled wool (but these are about to go up for sale! AJ's tummy is tooooooo round for these now), right - LOVE these custom wool interlock from JuJuBean Boutique at Hyena Cart!

Finally, my most prized possession in our stash - our knitted longies. I won these in a charity raffle back in the fall of 2006 and they are just heavenly.

Look at the artistry! Just stunning and soooooooooooooo cute on, too.

So that's that. Again, I always love to talk cloth. Share questions or comments with me or email me anytime!

Seven Rooms, Seven Days - The Kitchen

Wow! Day o' distractions, friends. My goodness.

Today started with a wonderful visit at my friend Kim's house where D got to try on her first ever princess dress. Magic! I was kicking myself for leaving the camera at home.

But then I had to bust booty when I got home to meet my deadline for today. And again, it was an afternoon just full of distractions and diversions - phone calls, fussy baby, hubby home for the day . . . it was very hard to stay on task.

Can I just tell you I am sincerely overwhelmed and surprised by the response to my Seven Rooms mission? I was thinking this would be total Yawnsville for everyone (and heck, by the end of this, most of you might very well be zonked out), but ya'll have been so gracious and supportive with your feedback. Thank you for that! It was actually very motivating to me today as I undertook the most lived-in, trafficked through, perpetually cluttery room in the house - my kitchen.


So yes, if you were to pop by the house on any given day in the past two or three weeks months, a glance in the kitchen would reveal an assortment of water bottles, dirty dishes, open boxes of cookies, and who knows what else . . .

The kitchen also hosts one of the hottest of Hot Spots. As usual, it was completely ablaze today. Let's see, I spy with my tired eye some cold lozenges and nasal spray that have been there since the week before Christmas (because where else would one store cold remedies?). There's the sinus rinse (fun), Dacey's "bunny scout brownies" over there at the left, and - can I be honest? - a whole bunch of The Coach's stuff.

So in between making and returning phone calls and bouncing cranky AJ and chit-chatting with the hubby, I managed to get this much done . . .

TA-DAAAAAAAAAH!

And here it is, almost nine in the evening, and it still looks almost as good as in the picture. Oh, there's some stuff yet to be done. I have a junk drawer that is scary with a capital S. But that's what zone work is for, right?

One year ago

On January 5th, 2007, The Coach and I were shocked, thrilled, excited, and not just a little terrified to discover that I was pregnant. Thinking back on that afternoon . . . that feeling of seeing the two pink lines affirming what I could scarcely believe to be true . . . amazing.

It's funny. December had been our first month to sorta try for the next babe. When we were in Oklahoma over Christmas, I started getting "I'm pregnant" vibes, but then my sister-in-law told us they were expecting again so I figured my vibes were just a little off-target. Hence, the shocking, thrilling excitement of discovering that for once, my intuition was spot-on!

Aliza Joy is four months old today. In spite of the occasional "my teeth are killing me, can someone please help me?" cranky episodes, she continues to be the most joyful, happy, talkative, and engaging baby I've ever known. Every day, she discovers something new - rolling back and forth from her tummy to her back to her tummy again, making baby bear growly sounds, catching someone's eye so she can delight them with the most brilliant smile . . . Maybe that's what she only sleeps for thirty minutes top at a stretch during the day. She needs more awake time to think up new ways to keep us entertained.

One year ago today - so much unknown. Four months ago today - so much to discover. Today - so much joy.








(Today is the last day to enter the Big Bloggy Design Giveaway! Winners announced tomorrow!)

Evidently, I need some time off

Okay, I am just going to tell you all this right now so I can get it out in the open. Rather than celebrating the end of NaBloPoMo today, I am beating myself up over my latest entry in the ongoing contest of Worst Mommy of the Year Award. Are you ready? Brace yourself.

I dropped AJ.

Part of me wants to word this in the third-person . . . She fell out of her carseat. Onto the floor.

But the truth lies in the first person . . . I forgot to buckle her in the carrier carseat and picked it up and she flipped forward and landed face down. On the floor.

I can't recall that I have ever experienced anything quite as terrifying and sickening. When D was a baby, she fell off the bed a time or two (yes, see, I've got that Worst Mommy award in the bag, girls) but it was when she was an older baby. The sight of my precious, not-quite-three-months-old baby, face down on the floor . . . Oh ya'll. I am having a hard time shaking it.

This all happened this morning as I was leaving D in the nursery at our weekly community prayer coffee gathering and thankfully - thank you, God! - one of my sweet friends (also a mommy) held AJ for me while I called the doctor's office in tears. (FYI - I discovered today that if you are in near hysterics when you call the pediatrician's office, they put you straight to a nurse - no waiting for a call-back. Just so you know.)

My other sweet friends calmed me and made me laugh with their own tales of baby mishaps and accidents. That did make me feel better. And so far, she seems to be fine. But still. And I still haven't quite determined just how I am going to tell her daddy about this.

So even though I had a whole other post planned, this is what's on my mind today.

In other, non-child endangerment news, as I mentioned yesterday I am taking the next week off from blogging. Let's all pray I don't return from this week-long hiatus in the same condition I was in when last I returned from hiatus . . .

I so look forward to catching up on blog reading next week. Also, my friend Corey called me yesterday to see if I would mind publishing posts over at Living and Loving Every Minute of It while she is out of town. (Not guest posting! Just hitting the "publish post" button on her pre-planned, pre-written drafts.) So anyway, I'll be around. Just uncharacteristically quiet, as I suspect many in NaBloPoMo recovery will be . . .

SortaCrunchy Q&A #14 - Tips and Tricks (sorta)

It's just gorgeous here today. Really, really gorgeous. Days like today make me wanna belt out a few verses of "God Blessed Texas" (If you wanna see heaven brother here's your chance). Added bonus - Miss D has been especially delightful the past few days. Just a real dream of a child (where are you, O Wood, that I may knock upon you?), and that has made life particularly sweet in my SortaCrunchy home.

And that puts me in a good place to answer today's SortaCrunchy question from Birdie of BirdBrain. Birdie is a fun and funky (in a good way, girl!) new mama to one sweet little September '07 man - Otto. Stop over and say hey if you have time!

Birdie asks, "What are your favorite tricks and tools of the Mama trade? What objects/tricks/ideas/attitudes get you through the day with two little ones?"

Honestly, I don't have a lot of tips. Or tricks. Well, some tricks. Like telling D that Cliff Kid Chocolate Brownie Organic Z Bars are "Bunny Scout Brownies." Those brownies are my back-up plan when she refuses to eat a meal, and she is ever so delighted to devour a Bunny Scout Brownie - Max and Ruby style.

So yeah, I have tricks like that.

But my only real tip is one that was given to me by Martha Sears, the mama of the Attachment Parenting super duo who co-authored The Baby Book with her husband, Dr. William Sears.

(Sidenote - I know I talk about the Sears an awful lot. I am not on their payroll. I just love them. I truly, truly do. Their books and website helped bring me from a dark, disappointed, and unhappy place in my mothering to a joyful, uplifted, and inspired turnaround. That's all.)

So anyway.

Martha Sears writes in The Baby Book that in parenting her own high-needs child, she had to learn to get behind her eyes. That phrase, that instruction, that advice has been the single most helpful parenting tip I have ever come across.

When D was a baby and was crying, fussy, out-of-sorts, whatever, I would take a deep breath, close my eyes for a second or two, then open them and look right into my daughter's eyes. Then I would imagine her looking out at me and ask myself, "If I were looking out of those eyes, what would I need to see to feel better?" I sure wouldn't want to see an angry, frustrated, exhausted mama. So no matter how angry, frustrated, or exhausted I was, I forced myself to be the mama she needed me to be at that moment. More often than not, all she needed was some peace, compassion, and understanding . . . maybe in the form of a bouncy walk around the room, perhaps an extra long hug with quiet whispers of affirmation in her ear. It usually wasn't much, but it almost always worked to just get behind her eyes and really think about what is was she was needing.

I gotta tell ya'll this. Life is proving to be quite unfair to my angelic AJ. Her two bottom teeth are threatening to erupt any day now. Yes! At not quite three months! Bless her heart. So this laid-back and content angel of a baby has been uncharacteristically needy and fussy for a few days. I find myself going back to Martha's advice and still find it works like a charm. Heck, it even works when D is going into meltdown mode and she's almost three.

I wonder if it'll work for pre-teen hormonal angst? We'll see.

Anyway, friend Birdie, that is the best I can offer in terms of tips and tricks. I hope it helps you as much as it helped is helping me.

de-lovely!

De-lovely is seeing the big ol' grin on AJ's face when she is getting ready to nurse. The big ol' grin is usually accompanied by a delightful excited baby laugh, as well.

I'd love to know - what's delightful, delicious, and de-lovely in your life this weekend?

Sweethearts

Hate to post and run, but the SortaCrunchy hacienda is having a flare-up of Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. Again. But yesterday we had the wonderful treat of driving down the road a bit and visiting my Sweet Friend Keara and her two gorgeous boys.

I think it's love . . .

SortaCrunchy Q&A #3 - Choosing a baby carrier

I need more coffee, ya'll. Or more sleep. Somethin. I am so sluggish these days! I feel awful that I am not making my bloggy rounds to see what everyone is up to this fine week. I am just plum worn out. I hope to be up for more socializing very soon . . .

In the meantime, my next SortaCrunchy question is from Elle of A Complete Thought. (VERY insightful and informative writer, by the way. I highly suggest you check her out!) She asks, "I was a baby wearer as well. I loved the soothing aspect for both mama and baby. What benefits would you discuss with a new mama debating whether to Bjorn or sling?"

It's funny, just this very morning at playgroup day at the gym, a mama asked me this question!

Let me start by saying that babywearing is one of those practices that I was sorta forced into by my lovely high needs oldest daughter. She just would not lay in that stinkin' infant car seat (we call it the bucket) while I grocery shopped, and it all it took was one trip through the aisles with her precariously clutched against my chest with one hand while I dragged the cart with the other for me to decide I had to find a better solution. I had registered for a Bjorn, but never received one. I'm a (wo)man of means by no means, so I had to settle for a cheaper knock-off. It worked okay . . . for about a month. Then my shoulders started to ache within fifteen minutes of wearing Jabba the Baby (D weighed fourteen and a half pounds at two months and eighteen pounds at four months!), and by the time I had made my rounds through the grocery store, I would be close to tears.

Again, I knew I had to find a better solution. By sheer chance miracle, I saw a post on my mommy message board about Lucky Baby pouch slings. By this time, D was five months old and could easily ride on my hip, so I ordered one, and my love for babywearing began!

To get back to Elle's question, the biggest benefit, in my opinion, to choosing a non-structured carrier instead of a Bjorn-style carrier is that you will be lucky to get six months of wear out of a Bjorn. A non-structured carrier (pouch sling, mei tai, wrap, ring sling, or soft structured carrier) will take you well into toddlerhood. I was wearing D in our Ergo right up until I got pregnant with AJ. Certainly, any new mama may want to choose the more mainstream and widely available Bjorn and it will work fine while the baby is little. But if she is already planning to spend close to $100 on a carrier (or someone is buying one for her), I highly recommend researching non-structured carriers as an alternative.

(Side note - there are some concerns about structured carriers having some negative impacts on a baby's development or possibly contributing to hip dysplasia, but this would generally only happen if baby were worn for hours on end for several months in such a carrier. Interestingly, there is evidence that a non-structured carrier will contribute positively to a baby's developing spine as is evidenced by this article.)

My personal recommendations, you ask? I will tell you my two very, very favorites are the above-mentioned Ergo and our Mei Tai Baby. Neither of my girls have liked be worn in the cradle carry which is a popular way to wear newborns in a pouch (like Lucky Baby or Hotsling) or ring sling (like Maya Wrap or Taylor Made). Both the Ergo and Mei Tai Baby allow me to wear them upright which is the three of us seem to prefer. I prefer the Mei Tai Baby over the many other makers of mei tai carriers because 1)it has the adjustable bottom which makes it easier to wear newborns and 2) you have the option of ordering one with removable panels so when you tire of the print, you can switch the panel out for a totally new look! So, those are my favorites, but there is great big (overwhelming) world of choices out there.

Again, returning to Elle's question, here's what I would advise a friend who is looking into buying a carrier and wants to go a different route from a Bjorn. (JB and KM, this is for you!)

1) Register for an account at TheBabywearer.com. Once you have registered there, you have access to the plethora of carrier listings and reviews. HUGE help.

2) Sign up for a Paypal account. If you decide to buy a brand new carrier and want to shop from a parent-owned business, there are some who can only accept payments from credit cards through Paypal. You can link your Paypal account to your checking account as well which works out nicely if you are paying cash for your new carrier.

If you decide you want to buy a used carrier, you will most likely need a Paypal account to pay the seller. More on that in a second.

3) Start browsing stores that sell carriers. There are many. Many. Many. Attached to Baby is a great resource. Fox Den Lane is another good one. Then there's Mamas Milk.

Readers - where do you like to shop for carriers? Who would you suggest?

Browsing these stores will give you a good idea of what style of carrier you might like and how much they run brand new. If you are buying new, then you may just find the carrier of your dreams while you are window shopping one day!

4) I have only purchased a few of our slings brand new. I am a bargain hunter and hate to pay retail when I can find it for less somewhere. Two places you can shop for gently used slings are Ebay and the For Sale or Trade Forum at thebabywearer. Ebay - ehhhh. I am not a good Ebay shopper and never seem to get quite as good of a deal as I think I am going to. If you are a good Ebayer, maybe you will have more luck than I have had. I prefer the FSOT forum.

5) If you are shopping the FSOT forum, it may be intimidating at first because most every listing will use abbreviations. What you can do is use the "search forum" feature to search only for the specific carrier you are looking for (for example, do a search in that forum for "hotsling").

If you are going to buy from FSOT, make sure to read through the stickied post called "FSOT rules and helpful hints."

Speaking of abbreviating, I should wrap this up. (Get it? Wrap?)

Here's a neat blog I just stumbled across as I was preparing this post - will have to check it out: The Baby Carrier

Would love to hear from anyone who wants to share their babywearing favorites! I am always up for some babywearing chit-chat!

Our Selective/Delayed Vaccination Schedule

IMPORTANT UPDATE AS OF APRIL 20th, 2008

This month, I finally purchased Dr. Bob Sears' The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child. I can say with absolute confidence this is a book every parent should have in their library. It is decidedly pro-vaccine, so if you tend to lean towards not vaccinating, it may cause you some concern. But if even you are not vaccinating your children, this book may give you some insights into the decision-making process of parents who do vaccinate. If you tend to lean towards vaccinating but have concerns over the CDC schedule and/or vaccine ingredients, I believe you will find this book to be immensely helpful.

Having said that, I am updating our original selective/delayed vaccine schedule below based on what I now know having read The Vaccine Book. For example, I did not realize that now (2008) all the major vaccines are now mercury-free. (There is still trace amounts of mercury in some brands of the flu shot.) Therefore, I have removed the "mercury-free" label that I had put in front of each of vaccine names. Additionally, I am switching the order of the measles and mumps vaccines. Originally, I had measles at 15 months and mumps at 39 months. Now, I will do mumps at 15 months and measles at 39 months. I still feel comfortable with delaying the Prevnar (Pc) vaccine, but please bear in mind that my babies are exclusively breastfed and not in group daycare situations. Dr. Sears feels that young babies should be receiving this vaccine, so please remember that your circumstances may warrant this one earlier than I have it scheduled.

I have received so many emails and comments from parents who are trying to make this hugely important decision for their children. I appreciate each email and comment and try to respond quickly and accurately as often as possible. I want to stress that this schedule is one that is best for our family, for my child. Every family has a unique set of circumstances that are made up of your family's medical history, your geographic location, and your access to doctors (and evidently, insurance coverages) that are open to alternate approaches to vaccines. All of that is to say that while my schedule may be a good starting point for you in creating your own schedule, please know that it is by no means a definitive selective/delayed schedule. You alone can make the best choice for your child.

*******************************************************************************

This morning, I took AJ in for a well-baby check, and it reminded me that this might be a good time to share the delayed vaccination schedule we have come up with for her. This schedule is based on Dr. Stephanie Cave's What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations (shout out to my friend KM for passing this on to me!!).

Here is our schedule:

Hep B
Delay until the year before starting school, although we may consider starting the series as early as two and half if we are considering preschool at the time.

Hib
4 mo, 6 mo, 8 mo, 17 mo

IPV
4 mo, 6 mo, 8 mo, 17 mo (booster at 4 years)

DtaP
5 mo, 7 mo, 9 mo, 15 or 18 mo (booster at 4 years)

Pneumococcal (PREVNAR)one dose at age 2

Varicela (Varivax)
Age four, if at all

MMR
Mumps – 15 mo
Rubella – 27 mo
Measles – 39 mo
Booster – age 5

Now, some physicians will tell you that you cannot get the MMR separated. This was a huge area of concern for me as my youngest sister had a reaction to the MMR vaccine that resulted in her having both epilepsy (now outgrown) and Asperger Syndrome. I did just a little digging in the Delayed Vaccinations forum at MDC, and found this information:

Dr. Stephanie Cave is an advocate for children being immunized with three separate doses instead of the MMR combined. Reportedly, she asked for American Medicine (wholesale pharmaceutical company) to carry these immunizations. The owners of American Medicine are Mark and Bridgette Schexnayder who are also pharmacists.

The pharmaceutical company of these three separate immunizations is Merck.

American Medicine will need the following from your doctor:
Doctor’s prescription with the child’s name
Copy of Doctor’s license
Have your doctor fax this to 225-924-0249.

You will then pay American Medicine (225-924-0247) and they will overnight the immunizations to your doctor. You will have to pay the overnight shipping fee due to the medicine needing to be refrigerated.

Make sure you ask for the expiration dates so that you will know ahead of time and for your records.

September 2007- Cost is appx. $119 (for all 3) plus shipping/handling (+-$20.)

I called the company and talked to Bridgette Schexnayder today. She said the $119 is for all three vaccinations which they overnight to your doctor's office at one time. She said the vaccines are currently on backorder, but they should be receiving a new shipment next month (Dec 07). She also said the vaccines will have about eighteen months until they expire. If that is the case, we will have to reevaluate and adjust when AJ gets each of these three vaccines as I currently have them spaced over a longer time period than eighteen months.

Another MDC member posted that Johnson Drug will also send you the separate vaccines. I have not personally contacted them to verify this information, but I wanted to share it as well. This MDC member stated that to order from Johnson Drug, you need a prescription from your pediatrician and to expect to pay about $40 per vaccine.

Anyone else have a delayed vaccination schedule you want to share? I would love to read what other people are choosing. Post in the comments or share it on your blog and let me know so I can check it out!

Two months of wonder and joy

Dear Aliza Joy,

Two hours old



to two months old,



every day you are our Joyful Joy.



We love you and can't wait to get to know you better in the days and weeks and months and years ahead of us.

(Your sister loves you , too. She just doesn't quite know how to express that yet beyond the "gentle" bounces she gives you in your bouncy chair and obsessively switching your swing from the first setting to the second because she loooooooooooooves the number two and is quite sure you do, too.)



Love you, love you, love you,
Mommy and Daddy and Dacey

*****************************************
I promise to get back to my SortaCrunchy Q&A questions soon!

Wordless Wednesday - My Winged Girls

Bit O' Crunchy, October 19: Homemade Baby Food

First of all, I need to make an introduction. This morning I shared with my in-town community of friends for the first time ever about my little home on the web. These friends of mine - awesome, amazing, wonderful, loving . . . I could go on and on. I love them to pieces! I have been hesitant to tell them about this little ol' blog, but the word is out now. So in-town friends, meet my online friends! I think everyone is going to get along just famously.

Last week, seattlebags asked if I had ever shared my own experience in using veggie purees, etc., in making homemade baby food. I got to looking back through the archives, and as a matter of fact, I have not. I guess D was far enough past the baby food stage when I started blogging for real that I just never thought to write about it here.

When D was five months old or so, one of my friends lent me her copy of Super Baby Food by Ruth Yaron. Seeing as how I am always on the lookout for ways to pinch a penny, the idea of saving money on baby food by making it myself had me hooked from the beginning. Ms. Yaron takes the idea of homemade baby food beyond the draw of frugality and explains how in making your own baby food, you have absolute control over what you are allowing to enter your tender young baby's system. She advocates organic eating whenever possible, although you don't have to if that won't work with your budget.

Ms. Yaron's book is a wealth of information. So much information, in fact, that I got kind of overstimulated when I tried to really read through it. It made my (self-diagnosed) ADD act up in a big way. Some mommy board friends of mine pointed me in the direction of wholesomebabyfood.com - which, by the way, is even more user-friendly now than it was two years ago when I first found this helpful site.

These two resources were really all I needed to make almost all of D's baby food! (Yes, I do admit to buying jarred baby food for trips out of town because I am lazy like that . . .) But really, it was quite easy. Buy your fresh (or even frozen) fruits and veggies, get a rice/vegetable steamer, dig out the old blender, and locate those never-used-before ice cube trays in the back of the cabinet and you are all set!

One more site to check out . . . On Wednesday, Melissa (of Melissa Garrett ~ a writer's woolgatherings) posted her great success with one of Jessica Seinfeld's Deceptively Delicious recipes. In that post, she makes mention of Mush - a new(ish) blog devoted to "All baby food recipes. All the time." If you want to get fancy with all of this baby food makin,' check their recipes for things like Mango and Fresh Apricot Puree, Butternut Squash Risotto, and California Chicken. Sounds fab, right? A heckuva lot better than decidedly unappetizing jarred version of Turkey Rice and Garden Vegetables or the decidedly unhealthy corn dogs a la Kids' Cuisine (not that I would know anything about preparing one of those for D! Oh no, I've just heard that such things exist . . .).

So that's your Bit O' Crunchy for the week. Good eats!

Regrets . . . I've had a few . . .

Would you like to know what I am listening to right now? Silence. Pure, golden silence. AJ is snoozing happily beside me and D is off in Dream Land. I have all fingers and toes crossed that the two prior days of nap strikage were just flukes and that we can hang on to this nap time a bit longer. Thank you so much for your encouragement and commiseration yesterday! It means the world to me.

Stressing out Thinking reflectively on D's nap times (and lack thereof) hearkens me back to a different place and time. A time when I was a shiny brand new mama (and by shiny, I mean shiny-faced due to lack of personal hygiene combined with not a just a few shed tears. And my - that sounds pitiful! It wasn't all that bad. I suppose.) Anyway, Shiny Brand New Mama spent the first three to four months of her oldest child's life completely, utterly, stupidly obsessed with her child's sleep, or lack thereof. See, a well-meaning family member had well-meaningly given Shiny Brand New Mama a copy of a book said family member had found to be helpful when her children were babies. The subtitle to this book is Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep. Shiny Brand New Mama had read this book voraciously before her oldest was born and fully intended to follow all of the book's commandments in getting baby on a schedule so baby and Mama and Daddy could all sleep through the night by the time she was six weeks old. I mean, come on! Who wouldn't want that?!

Oh, sure, there were mamas on her mommy message board who tried to offer warnings about this book - that it was not only unnecessary (and actually quite unrealistic) to put baby on a schedule at such an early age, but it was also sometimes dangerous. Shiny Brand New Mama brushed off the warnings, thinking to herself that these mamas just didn't follow the plan correctly. Again, sleep through the night at six weeks! Come on, people! What on earth could be dangerous about that?

So the day came when Shiny Brand New Mama's baby woke up to the world, just about two weeks after her grand (albeit late) arrival. It become quite obvious to Shiny Brand New Mama that Baby didn't read a copy of this book with all that free time she had in-utero. No, in fact, this Baby was born with a plan. A plan to get her Mama to get to know what she needed to get acclimated to this big, scary new world. She tried and tried to tell her Mama that she had no intentions of being put on a schedule at this tender young age, but her Mama . . . well, she wasn't listening.

And so Shiny Brand New Mama and her Baby had a rough start. Mama kept a tediously detailed sleep journal, noting the exact minute Baby went to sleep and the exact minute she woke up and all of the various techniques she tried for getting Baby to go to sleep (except - heaven forbid! - rocking and holding and cuddling and slinging! Oh my, no. Gotta get Baby to be an independent sleeper, or you know what will happen . . . she'll need to be rocked to sleep until she is seven and she will never, no not ever, sleep through the night. And it will be all. your. fault.)

Well, very, very long story short, Brand Shiny New Mama spent most of Baby's early months wracked with guilt and plagued with tears over her inability to get Baby on The Schedule. Every time a friend or stranger innocently asked how she was sleeping at night, Brand Shiny New Mama cringed. And lied. Every New Mama knows that how her baby is sleeping at night is a direct reflection on how good of a mother she is. Or isn't.

I can write this now as a Not Quite Shiny Mama, a mama who looks back on those days with such regret. Not the aching, desperate kind of regret that follows me around all day. Nah. Just the resigned regret of knowing I missed out on such sweetness in D's earliest days. I missed out on having her sleep contently on my chest (as AJ is doing at this very moment). I missed nuzzling and snuggling her off to sleep. I missed experiencing the unforced rhythms of life with a newborn because I was so angry that she wouldn't sleep when she was "supposed to". I couldn't allow myself the joy of getting to know her amazing and vibrant personality because I was too busy fretting over how I was failing her. If only I had possessed a crystal ball in those days . . . some manner of seeing into the future and being able to be assured that yes, D would eventually be able to go to sleep without being rocked for even a minute. That, indeed, she would sleep through the night. It didn't happen until she was around two, but it happened. And it's wonderful. And she's wonderful. And I did not fail her.

Eventually, I found another book that brought me such peace in choosing to parent instinctively. Ah yes, when you know better, you do better. And the regrets - well, you accept them, even embrace them, because without them there is often little motivation for change.

Aliza's birth story

Okay, okay. I promise someday I will write about something else. For now, I can't help myself! New love.

There is a very large internet community made up mostly of mamas who are way crunchier than I am. I am a somewhat active member of this community and have learned many valuable mothering tips and tricks and philosophies and practices in the nearly two years since I joined. Something unfortunate, however, I have learned there is to sorta keep my mouth closed about the way my daughters have come into the world. Both are Cesarean births . . . and in that particular community, that is The Birth We Do Not Speak Of.

Oh, I understand the stance they take. Their mission is to support and promote lifestyle choices and parenting practices that are natural. I understand that there is nothing natural about my daughters being delivered through a discreet, surgeon-made incision in my uterus. I also understand it is not in the best interests of this particular online community for me (or any of their members) to go around celebrating birth via Cesarean section. Celebrate a "successful" VBAC? Absolutely! You have redeemed yourself, mama! Celebrate a "failed" VBAC? Well, sure. At least you tried, mama. But there is a definite unspoken rule that if you don't even try for a natural birth . . . well, mama, why don't you just keep that to yourself . . .

I actually harbor no bitterness or hard feelings toward this community; on the contrary, it has spurned much growth for me as a woman and a mother. I have just come to the place in my life where I can say I will no longer apologize for my first failed attempt at a natural birth, nor will I apologize for my elective decision to schedule a second Cesarean birth. I'm really not interested in debating or advocating any aspect of the birth of my daughters. I just want to be able to celebrate like any other mama would want to celebrate the most miraculous moments in life.

(Ha! I bet when you read the title for this post you wouldn't have guessed you were pulling up a seat right in front of my soapbox! Enough with the baggage background, on with the story!)

On the morning of September 5th, I woke up with what I had feared would be the case. I was STARVING! And according to doctor's orders, I was to have had nothing to eat or drink after midnight. And we wouldn't get started with the delivery until 1:30. And I like to eat. A lot.

I managed to stave off the hunger by munching on some ice chips and somehow the rest of that morning is kind of blurry to me. I think I got online a bit, re-checked what I had packed in my bags, played with D, and before I knew it, The Coach and I were in the car on the way to meet Little Sister.

Ongoing name negotiations kept me preoccupied through the check-in and pre-op procedures. Hubby and I talked and laughed while we waited for the team to assemble. We had one particularly flaky nurse who provided lots of fodder for jokes which mostly managed to distract me from how impossibly hungry I was getting. I mean, the kind of hungry where your tummy starts to hurt and you feel woozy. Finally, my OB came in for last minute instructions and a pep talk and the time had finally arrived!

It wasn't until they were wheeling me through the halls to the OR that I started to feel scared. Actually, at that point, I began to really panic. In the days before, I had (stupidly) read an article about the number of women in the US who are dying after giving birth, and for some reason, I could not shake the thought of my sweet D never seeing Mommy again and I just kept thinking "I don't want to do this . . ." By the time they transferred me to the operating table, I could barely breathe. But by then it was time for the spinal to be administered and I had to get it together. The nurse who was assisting in the spinal administration was strong and kind and funny and told me to lean my head on his chest while they put the spinal in. He put his arms around me as the spinal went in and almost immediately I began to feel much more calm. I kind of think they gave me a little sedative along the way because a few minutes after the spinal was in, I was happy and excited and ready to meet my daughter!

The first part of a Cesarean birth is the easiest. The OR team was light-hearted and funny and we talked about life with toddlers in general, life with Dacey in specifics. Just a few minutes after we got started, Aliza Joy came screaming from my womb.

Those lusty newborn cries didn't last terribly long, and I was beginning to get a little concerned. Then hubby told me they had swaddled her up nice and tight and that she was laying there taking in this big, cold, bright world with eyes wide open. After a few minutes, they took her up to the nursery with Daddy right beside her, going over to himself my strict instructions:

"No pacifier! No bottle! And NO HEP B SHOT! And don't forget to take pictures, okay, love?"

And then the tedious part of a Cesarean birth - getting put back together. But the time went by quickly as we talked sports in general and college football in specific. The place where time dragged by the most slowly was in the recovery room. Unlike after D's birth, I was alert and awake and just wanted to get upstairs to meet my daughter!

Finally, eons later, I was taken up to my room and they brought Aliza in immediately. Daddy reported that the amount of finger-sucking going on indicated she was hungry and ready to meet Mommy, too. That girl latched on right away (almost as if she had been coached up on breastfeeding while in the womb) and as I gazed on her sweet, fair skin and startling bright eyes, I was just. so. smitten.

My hospital stay was wonderful and short and marked by friendly and helpful nurses, visits from friends and family, and just the right amount of alone time with AJ. Happy, happy days.

One month ago. Today. Thanks for letting me celebrate.

Too much to be Wordless . . .

Four weeks! AJ is four weeks today. Inconceivable.

I've had some gentle encouragement from a few friends to post a little more. I have to tell ya - I feel utterly, deplorably selfish and self-indulgent to be posting here when I have read so little of what is going on in the lives of my readers and friends. But, on the other hand, I have to remind myself that one of the reasons I blog is to have a record of our days, so I really need to put some thoughts into words and get some pictures from the camera to the screen before this all gets lost in the hazy memories of the first few weeks.

So, here's what's been going on 'round here . . .

I had always heard tell of the mythical Easy Baby. I read about Easy Babies in books and even have some friends who claimed to have had an Easy Baby. My mom swears up and down that as a newborn, I was beyond easy. She says I was an Angel Baby (but doesn't have much in the way of proof to back up those claims . . . just memories that are going on thirty years old, which I am sure have been softened and reshaped by time). Anyway, I was sort of skeptical of the idea of the Easy Baby, what with my induction into motherhood being nothing short of a baptism by fire. Oh, there were easy days when Dacey was a newborn, but she was the archetypical High Needs baby, so it was hard for me to imagine mothering in terms other than what doesn't kill you makes you stronger . . .

Somehow, some way, the Lord saw fit to deliver into my arms a bona fide Easy Baby.

I walk around sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop because surely it will, right? Aliza - she sleeps and sleeps, she nurses equally well from the breast or bottle, she is content wherever and however we tote her around - be it her infant carseat or sling or simply in our arms. The high pitch and high frequency of her sister's communication doesn't even startle her, let alone cause her to cry. She wakes up once a night - precisely between 3 and 4 in the morning for a little snack, sleeps soundly whether in her bassinet or in our bed. I mean, are you kidding me? For the first two weeks, I held my breath. Even Dacey was easy for the first two weeks. But here we are, four weeks in now, and still . . . easy.

A rare open-eyed moment . . .

As I am known to do in most situations, I have managed to call up all kinds of Mommy Guilt in the past month. Because Dacey was so needy and high maintenance as a baby, I was constantly interacting with her. Rocking. Walking. Bouncing. Nursing. Holding. Soothing. We got to know each other intensely and intimately right from the start. I truly feel like I am missing some of that with Aliza because she is just so dang content. I find that as soon as I lay Dacey in bed at night, I am scooping Aliza up to have some snuggle time!

And then I feel guilty because as much as I am in awe of Aliza's content nature, I feel I am somehow defaming the personality of my oldest. Dacey was, and is, just intense. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that just because I am so enjoying having a laid-back child doesn't mean that I am un-enjoying my spirited toddler. Dacey is a character and a hoot and I wouldn't change one minute of her life on this planet. She becomes more brave and outgoing and joyful to be around day by day. Our first days home with Little Sister were not pretty, and although she still avoids Aliza most of the day, I see glimpses of Big Sister showing through more and more.

Speaking of brave - here she is showing off her fashion forwardness by daring to wear white dress shoes after Labor Day (in just a diaper and tee, of course!)

And speaking of diapers, here is evidence that I may be up to my ears in diapering two for a while yet . . . I bought her the first pack of Big Girl Panties after she finally indicated that she might like to try wearing those instead of diapers. She was so excited to wear them!

On her head.

And promptly tinkled on the carpet five minutes after I took this picture.

So that's where we are around here. I really, really want to get back to reading and catching up with everyone! All of the September baby mamas I have enjoyed getting to know through blogland now have little ones to snuggle and care for - welcome Nadia! Josie! Nate! and Otto! (And my Sweet Friend Mary Ann - whom I already knew before my days in blogland - welcomed home Baby Boy Joel a day before AJ arrived!)

Thanks for hanging with me through my extended babymoon. We'll talk soon!

Wordless Wednesday - Distracted

long "I," as in Doolittle . . .

It's a miracle! Both girls asleep at the same time. That's the first time that has happened!

Would you believe I started this post yesterday at 3:30?

To begin with, a huge thank you to each person who left comments and sent emails of congratulations. What a blessing it was to come home to such kind, sweet words. I can hardly believe that it's been two weeks since we welcomed Aliza into our family. In some ways, I feel I have lived a whole lifetime in those two weeks; and in other ways, it seems like just the blink of an eye ago that I was hugely pregnant with anticipation.

Aliza.

Some insight on her name: We settled on her name weeks before her birth but the night before her birthday, The Coach started to have doubts. Ack! Men! We talked through some other of our favorite names and decided to sleep on it. Well on the way to the hospital, we were still discussing. The conversation continued through check-in and on into the pre-op room. The Coach wanted Little Sister to have a name that lends itself to going by her initials. As much as we loved the name Eliza, neither of us were totally sold on the initials "EJ." (No offense to any EJ's! I had a student when I was teaching who went by EJ and he was a challenge, to say the least.) I can't remember if it was him or me who suggested spelling her name with an A, but I do know I insisted he use his PC phone to go to babynames.com and check the meaning of the name spelled with an A. (Name meanings are freakishly important to the inner linguist in me!) As it turns out, Aliza is Hebrew for "joyful." The minute he read that off the screen to me, I knew with unshakable certainty that yes! This was to be Little Sister's name.

Joyful Joy.

That's a lot of name to live up to, yet it is the most remarkable way to describe Aliza. She is an utter joy to have in our family. Content. Laid-back. Sweet. Snuggly. We just can't get enough of her. Well, everyone, that is, except for Dacey who is totally NOT sold on the idea or presence of Little Sister. We think she'll warm up eventually, but only time will tell if the Unthroned Princess will be able to move from irritable tolerance to deep sisterly love.

I wouldn't be doing my job as Proud Mommy of Two if I didn't share some pictures, so if you don't mind . . .


Beautiful, light eyes . . . when they are open, they are full of wonder at this new world.

Home from the hospital . . .

She sleeps . . . and sleeps . . . and sleeps . . . I am fully aware that this will change as she wakes up to the world, but for now - what a blessing!

My first outing with the girls

And yesterday before her two week appointment

Big Sister and Little Sister. Yes, I would bet they can be friends.