I wonder if you noticed last night that I didn't say our bedtime prayer with you as we rocked in our rocking chair before I laid you down to sleep. I know you can't understand this now, but my throat was too choked, my voice too broken, to even speak a single word. I didn't want to upset you.
If I could have spoken to you what was on my heart, here is what I would have said . . .
Thank you for being the child that you are. Thank you for patiently teaching me through two and half years what it is to be a mother. You turned my beliefs about mothering inside out and upside down, and I can never tell you how grateful I am for that. Thanks for breaking me in.
Thank you for being patient with me while I learned the ropes and tossed the books written by the experts. Thank you for teaching me of the importance of routine and the wonder of flexibility. It is because of you, lovie, that I have discovered the freedom in giving myself so completely over to my purpose for this season of life.
There are moments when I mourn the loss of this time of just the two of us. My heart hurts to know that now our time will be shared. But I also thrill to the thought of you as Big Sister. You are so wise and funny and powerful and compassionate (not to mention just a little bit bossy). You were born to be a Big Sister - just as I was - and I have no doubt you will flourish in your new role.
I love you and I love you and I love you, my love. Glory to God for my sweet Dacey Babe.
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Wednesday, September 05, 2007