Grace (and other avid readers who just can't WAIT to hear about how we cloth diaper, step-by-step - hee hee!), I really am planning an entry to walk it through, it's just that life happens and I haven't gotten the time to devote to it that I want to. But fear not! It will happen! I haven't forgotten!
First, I wanted to tell you all thanks for all the positive feedback on our veggin' out experiment! Today was the last of the Ten Days Without Meat, and I can say I have learned SOOOOO much more than I ever dreamed possible. I am looking forward to having dairy and eggs in my life again (do you know HOW many recipes call for eggs?! Sheesh! Hats off to all the vegans out there - I am indeed inspired by your dedication to your principles). I am also looking forward to really, really focusing on using more whole foods in our meals. I cannot say enough how much better I feel physically since we started focusing on more whole foods, less processed food - and feeling better physically is always good for the ol' mental health as well.
Now, on to what is on my mind . . .
Yesterday, D and I went over to visit a neighbor who is new to town. She has a darling little boy who is a few months younger than D, so we tried to visit as much as is possible while refereeing two only children who are quite sure every object they encounter is surely for their amusement alone. Her son got into my purse and found a disposable diaper I had tucked in last minute - just in case. She noted that those were the same diapers they used, and so of COURSE I had to mention that we use cloth diapers - but that I carry disposables with me out of the house. She then did the Wayne's World-esque "we're not worthy bow" and went on about how awesome I am . . .
Well, as much as I would like to perceive myself as being awesome, I would be a big, fat, phony fake if I considered myself awesome for cloth diapering. The very real truth is that cloth diapering is EASY. Shamefully, surprisingly easy.
Let me share with you the few things about cloth diapering that I personally find challenging, and then compare that to how unchallenging the rest is (to me anyway):
CHALLENGES
(note to the squeamish: in-depth poop descriptions below)
1. I know you have wondered, and the truth is that yes - poopy diaper clean-ups can get tricky. There are two stages of a child's life when the poopy cloth diaper presents relatively few hurdles: the newborn/infant 100% breastfed stage and the older toddler stage. Babes who are exclusively breastfed have poopy diapers that are water soluble, so you simply toss the whole thing in the diaper pail (or wet bag) and everything comes out in the first pre-rinse of the diaper load. It washes down the drain, safe and sound. When a toddler is older and solids are well-established, poops are nice and solid and just roll off the diaper into the toilet and get flushed into the sewer just like yours does - safe and sound. However, gentle reader, there is a stage of life that proves to be a bit, ahem, icky in the arena of poopy dipes. And that is the stage dear D has been in pretty much since we started CDing almost a year ago. Because she is still breastfed and because she is a very picky eater, her poopy diapers are almost always of a sort of very thick mashed potato texture. And that means in order to get it into the toilet to flush away, I have to use a Poop Scraper (an old kitchen spatula that is now clearly and boldly labeled POOP ONLY). And to be honest, there are some poopy diapers that I wish I could just wrap up and throw away -- but since I have paid anywhere from $10-$20 for each diaper, I resist that urge and power through. But it ain't pretty. BUT, my house never smells like stinky toddler poop either! (more on this later)
2. Aside from icky clean-ups, it can be tricky when one first starts CDing to find the system that will work for you and your babe. This holds true as babe grows and her body shape changes, her poop consistency evolves, and her ability to soak a diaper with a power jet of pee reaches off-the-chart status. So there is always some trial-and-error involved in building and maintaining a workable diaper stash. (But, sometimes, that's half the fun. Or more than half for me! More later)
3. Finally, some people encounter laundering problems that can be very frustrating. Those who have front loading washing machines or water that is too hard or water that is too soft . . . these things can throw a wrench in getting diapers nice and delightfully clean. Again, it's just a matter of trial-and-error to find a laundry system that works for you, but once you get there, you rarely have to make adjustments.
FUN STUFF
(for me anyway)
1. I will openly confess while I originally started CDing to save money, cloth diapering quickly became a hobby of sorts for me. I love diaper shopping! One of the glorious benefits of CDing is the CUTE factor! No boring, standard, utilitarian paper dipes for our sweet D. Her cute buns are almost always in something pink or lavender or flowery (hmmmm, that reminds me - I might like to find something pink AND lavender AND flowery!). I kind of suspect that moms of girls tend to find the CUTE factor to be more alluring than moms of boys, but I could be wrong. But now on the odd occasion D is in a 'sposie dipe, I feel kind of sad for the lack of cuteness covering her booty region that day.
2. I think it's pretty fun to be doing something good for the earth. Yes, yes, yes - there is GREAT debate out there as to the actual environmental benefits of CDing. Many diapers are made from cotton and standard cotton growing practices are not kind to the earth. (The most posh and lovely of diapers are made from organic cotton which is both delicious to the touch and generally grown in an earth-respecting way.) Then there is the fact that most of the more convenient and popular diapers have polyester laminate outers - and polyester is made in factories . . . factories that contribute to pollution and other un-earth-loving things.
But what I like to remember is that every time I diaper D with cloth, that is one less 'sposie in a landfill somewhere. Remember the Oprah show on Global Warming 101 ? She made a huge deal over the statistic that "Americans throw away 49 million diapers every single day," and that "the diapers end up in landfills and could take 500 years to decompose." That's a lot of ick for a long time to come. Yes, parents could choose Elimination Communication or letting baby go "diaper-free," but the odds of that movement taking hold in Western culture seem a bit slim to me. CDing, on the other hand, seems to be the lesser of two evils.
3. As I mentioned above, since D's poop goes down the toilet, our house never smells like dirty diapers! Self-explanatory as to why that rocks.
4. It's great not to worry about the chemicals next to D's most delicate skin.
5. And it's really, really wonderful when I think about how uncomfortable I would feel in paper underwear and to be able to know that the vast majority of the time, the materials next to D's skin are much kinder to her very sensitive skin.
Please know, friends, that all of this is just my explanation as to why for US, the choice to cloth diaper is so fun, so easy, so worth it that I feel extremely embarrassed when people assume I am some kind of Super Mom for doing it. I am not - far from it, in fact! But I also know that it is not a choice for everyone and I highly respect every parent's right to make the best decisions for their babes and their homes.
Buuuuuut, if you ever wanna know more about the ins-and-outs and ups-and-downs of diapering with cloth, I am here for ya!
I have a bunch of stuff percolating to write about, but it's all still floating around like so many dust particles . . . so I will hold off on that. I do want to say I am IMMENSELY enjoying our meat-free experiment! I have always had problems with blood sugar, but after the first two days of our non-meat protein based diet, I haven't had any problems at all. Another huge benefit for me has been the elimination of the 3-4 pm snack attacks. Usually in the mid-afternoon, I eat snack stuff almost non-stop, but a few days ago I realized I hadn't had the need to eat all afternoon.
Grace asked what we had for dinner the other night . . . it was yummy, let me tell ya! I baked some golden potatoes and we topped those with a recipe called Split Pea Splendor that I found. It was basically cooked split peas blended with celery, soy sauce, and pepper. Delicious! We had salad and veggies on the side. Another night I marinated some portabello mushrooms and sauteed those in the skillet and served some red beans and rice on the side. Very good and very filling. I have been so amazed at what having so much protein in my system has done for me. I feel really good! Kyle has said when our experiment is over (Friday is the last day), he wants to add a little meat back in our diet, but I am kind of thinking that I will continue to go meatless for the time being. We are currently not eating dairy or eggs - I miss my dairy!!! So I look forward to adding that back in after Friday.
Overall, going meatless has really challenged my thoughts about what makes a good meal. It has stretched my imagination in the kitchen - a very good thing, indeed! After eight years of marriage, I find myself making the same old boring stuff week after week. I am wanting to eat REAL food and make sure Dace is doing the same. The child is happy with cheese on a tortilla, so it's been a challenge to get her to try new foods, but I read it's much more difficult to introduce new tastes after a child turns two, so the clock is ticking on our attempts to help her have a wide and varied palate for food.
Two books in my Amazon cart that I hope to get ordered today:
Simple Vegetarian Pleasures
Quick Vegetarian Pleasures
Quick, simple, healthy - yep, sign me up!
I am very, VERY frustrated with blogger right now. I am trying to post a Dacey video, but apparently that isn't meant to be.
Anyway, our journey into eating whole foods is actually going wonderfully. I am really enjoying the amazing and diverse recipes I have found and am eating things it never occured to me to eat. For example, in the past, a typical lunch for me might be PBJ, some Pringles or fruit, and a cup of yogurt. However for lunch today, I smashed up some avocado and tofu together and threw in some salsa, spread that on my homemade wheat bread (which I was already making before our Less Meat Experiement began) along with some hummus, replaced my Pringles with cucumber sliced very thin and drizzled with roasted salsa vinagrette, and broiled some pear halves which I sprinkled with cinnamon, ginger, and brown sugar. Hello, delicious!
I married me a carnivore.
Kyle's fave meal has always been steak, topped with steak, and a little steak on the side. I have been secretly delighted that Dace shows some strong vegetarian tendencies, which has perplexed and confused her meat-eating father. And really, it's no small miracle that Dacey loves veggies because Kyle makes a huge production about how much he hates eating anything green, raw, or that "feels sqeaky on my teeth."
You can only imagine my absolute shock when last night my carniverous husband approached me with the suggestion that maybe we should start cutting back on the meat in our diet. Beef in particular. After a sideways glance to the Eastern sky to see if the Lord was coming back, I said, "Um, okay . . ."
I guess I should share with you that my husband has been making lots of changes in his life lately. His spiritual life has become more deep, more real, and more important to him than ever before. A result of that inner growth has been lots of external changes. And this desire to eat more healthy, whole foods with an emphasis on less meat and more veggies is one of the more significant transformations yet.
I was so taken aback by this suggestion that I literally dreamed of vegetables last night! I have long thought that I could easily find fulfillment in a vegetarian lifestyle, but just never thought I would see the day when that would become reality. But I am pretty much freaking out at the thought right now. I have NO IDEA what I am doing. I do know of resources within the natural parenting community that will help get me started (my friend Noah will be a great place to start), but I am still pretty wide-eyed over it all.
And I just got back from the grocery where I spent $33 on vegetables - a first for me, I can tell you that.
So, gentle readers, if you have some ideas to share with me on how to make this transition, feel free to share! If you need me, I will be crunching on carrots while I clean out the fridge . . .
My mother-in-law has told me on many an occasion that Motherhood's middle name is Guilt.
In the past 18 months, I have struggled with maternal guilt about many things - some big, some small. And it seems that each time I come to a place of peace about the reality of who I am as a mother and manage to chase the guilt monster back out the front door, it sneaks back in through a window I didn't know was left open. . .
In Dacey's early months, I was a wreck over the amount of sleep she was getting - or more accurately NOT getting - each day. Her naps were only 30-45 minutes and I was just sure the lack of napping would eventually lead to lack of learning and she would someday figure out that all of her intellectual struggles found their roots in the fact that her mother couldn't get her to nap enough as an infant. When she turned 6 months old, her naptimes finally evened out and I enjoyed a long, long time of feeling confident in her daytime sleep schedule. In fact, I had begun to relish the fact that even as a toddler, she still took two naps a day. As her peers began to drop that morning nap, I delighted in the fact that "Dacey is a child that just needs a lot of daytime sleep" (as I so blithely told a friend last Friday).
And so in the last few days, as Dacey has clearly shown me that she is ready to transition to one nap a day, I have been inundated with emotions - most of them negative. Sad but true, I have felt a real sense of loss in watching this change in my child. I would love to be able to heroically reflect on how this transition to one nap is symbolic of the bigger transition from baby to toddler, how I am realizing that she really is a big girl these days, and other sweet, loving thoughts.
But the dark truth is the loss I am grieving is not the end of babyhood, but rather the further shrinkage of my Mommy Time.
For months, my days had been ordered by what I could get done during nap time. Dacey's morning naps afforded me time to take long, peaceful showers and spend time in quiet reflection on the Word of God and in prayer. Her afternoon naps were my writing time - a can of diet Coke and a keyboard provided sweet respite from the rest of the day. I loved naptime - not because I don't love spending time with D, but because I treasure spending time with myself.
And so this transition to one nap has brought about a real sense of loss and sadness for me. And for that I feel tremendously guilty. I know that ideally, I would be excited that more awake time for Dace means more interaction, more learning opportunities, more memories to be made. But the reality is that I am really struggling with having to create a new normal in light the light of our new schedule.
I know I will adjust. I know I will find ways to compensate. And in fact, in a few weeks I will look back on this post and shudder at my selfishness. But for now I just needed to confess my guilt . . .
There's nothing terribly profound about that statement. A breast is a breast. A nose is a nose. An ear is an ear. It sounds sort of like playing "Let's learn our anatomy" with Dace. And yet I am terribly troubled by that statement because of the words that followed it in a recent cnn.com article Lactivists: Where is it OK to breastfeed? . A woman - a mother, actually - in Belton, Texas (a few short hours up the road from me, but a universe away when it comes to parenting perspectives) said of the recent Babytalk cover, "A breast is a breast -- it's a sexual thing." (She also said she shredded the magazine cover so her 13 year old son wouldn't see it . . .)
So a breast is a breast -- it's a sexual thing. Ironically, this issue of Babytalk (which sits, as I write, on my dining room table - unshredded) discusses some of the reasons why American women don't breastfeed, or don't breastfeed for the entire twelve months recommened by the American Academy of Pediatrics. The article - tagged as a Babytalk EXCLUSIVE! - summarizes the reasons that most moms are pretty much already aware of: nursing problems, time commitment, too much of a hassle when going back to work. Oh yeah, and negative public attitude. Huh - kind of like Belton Mom's proclamation that a breast is a "sexual thing."
I think Belton Mom's statement (along with other reader comments about the cover shot like "gross" and "inappropriate") tells much more about the dismal rates of long-term breastfeeding success in America than anything the Babytalk article was willing to say. In countries around the world, breastfeeding is not something to be hidden; women are not hassled or cajoled or dismissed to bathrooms to feed their babes. Countries where women have the highest success rate for both initiating and continuing breastfeeding are countries where the culture understands that breasts are not merely "sexual things".
Later, in the cnn.com article Babytalk's editor references a "Puritanical streak" in which there is a "squeamishness about seeing a body part." Clearly, Babytalk's fearless editor has not perused a magazine stand lately where she would see lots, lots more boobie exposed on the covers of Maxim and Cosmopolitan than she would have dared to reveal on her magazine's cover. Perhaps Ms. Editor also doesn't watch TV, or surely she would see ads for Victoria's Secret that dare to defy America's "squeamish" attitudes about breasts by showing pretty much everything but nipples hanging out of lacy lingerie.
The last line of this article really irked me, too. A mom from Montana stated that breastfeeding is a moment that should "just stay between a mother and her child." Now, I am all about celebrating the beauty that is breastfeeding. It has been and continues to be a very magical, mystical, wonderful part of mothering my child. And yet it also serves the very practical purpose of FEEDING HER. And that was particularly the case when she was an infant and relied soley on my breasts for food. Montana Mom's statement that these moments should be kept private is ridiculous! Well, unless we are going to ask bottle feeding moms to also keep the moments they spend providing nourishment for their babies private as well.
A like-minded mama friend of mine recently made a statement that it's going to take time - maybe another generation or two - before American culture isn't so freaked out about seeing a mother nursing her babe. I know I personally didn't see a lot of breastfeeding going on in public when I was growing up. Our parents certainly didn't. I think the BEST thing we can do in this generation is to allow our children to grow up knowing that breastfeeding is a wonderful, natural, practical experience, that breasts are indeed more than sexual things, that a nursing mother is not deriving any sexual pleasure from the act of breastfeeding, and that there is nothing to feel embarrassed about when a mom chooses to feed her child this way.
I don't know. I'd like to think so. We'll see.
Just went and checked the mail and was delighted to find my order from Cottonbabies! Woo hoo! We have been working our way back to using cloth diapers at night . . . Dacey is an amazingly heavy wetter, so we have had to use disposables at night for several months now. But finally the massive amounts of night pee seem to be tapering off and so I have turned to the most truly reliable cloth diaper I have come across . . . Cotton Babies bumGenius! diapers. I love these diapers so much because they are so trim, so bullet-proof, and so easy to use. I ordered two more and got colors this time - one Grasshopper and one Butternut. The Butternut is not nearly as yellow in real life. It really is the color of butternut squash - sort of an orangey yellow. Anyway, few things bring such a thrill to my soul as getting brand new diapers in the mail. I had to share my excitement!
I can't think of anything to say today. Dacey was up a LOT last night with teething. Bleh. So I am all brain-dead and bleary-eyed. I need coffee and lots of it. Maybe I will think of something profound to share after some caffeine intervention, but if not, you know why. *yawn*
Dacey turns 18 months tomorrow. How that is even possible is beyond me. But anyway, my confession is that today I went to my very first ever meeting of La Leche League . What on earth would posess me, you might ask, to go to an LLL meeting when I have already been breastfeeding for 18 months? Well, as much as I love, love, love my online community of mamas in varying degrees of crunchy-hood, I find myself yearning to hang with some real-life, reach out and touchable like-minded mamas. And boy did I find some today!
There were seven mamas there total, including the LLL leader. The leader is a cute, smart woman with a cute, smart name (Megan - hee hee). Of the seven, three were pregnant - very pregnant, like due any day now pregnant, and the other mamas had babes younger than Dace. So it felt kind of strange, but strange in a good way. Mostly because when I was pregnant, I would have never even dreamed I would be breastfeeding a toddler. Confession #2 for today - I used to think that breastfeeding past infancy was creepy. I felt quite sure that once teeth started to come in, it was time to get the babe off the boob. But then I HAD a babe who responded so enthusiastically to breastfeeding that, well, the creep-out factor has long since disappeared. And interestingly, the discussion topic today had to do with weaning! :) So there we were, living proof that just because your friends and neighbors all think that 12 months is the upper limit for nursing doesn't mean you HAVE to get put away (or burn) that nursing bra just yet.
I gotta tell ya, friends, these three women who were there who are pregnant are cuhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrruuuuuunchy! They were a great reminder why I titled my blog "sorta crunchy." While I do try to incorporate natural living and parenting into our lives as much as possible, there are some areas I just can't give myself over to complete and utter crunch. Air conditioning, for example. One of the moms-to-be lives here - in sweaty south Texas - with no air conditioning. By choice. And she is great with child. Wow! I totally admire her for allegiance to natural living! But I can tell you right now that I would be loathe to spend a day with no a/c, let alone be preparing to give birth in such circumstances. And yeah, all three women are planning home births attended by the local midwife. And this is another area where I failed the test of granola-ific-ness. Confession #3 - I didn't even entertain the thought of a natural childbirth. Seriously. My suspicion that I have a tremendously low pain threshold was decidedly confirmed for me by the time I hit 4 cm of dialation and had labored for 8 hours. I formed a strong emotional bond with the man who got me my epidural. Really, I did - he was a great help and support to me through the c-section process. And so I applaud with reckless abandon the women who are able to deliver babies into this world without any medicinal relief. You should probably just know I am not one of them.
And all of this ties back into the article I posted earlier. Attachment Parenting, natural living, crunchiness . . . whatever label you want to put on parenting choices, does not (in my humble opinion) have to be a 100% sold-out lifestyle. As I discuss with you the natural parenting choices we make, I will be sure to point out the ones we have chosen not to and why. But like the article I posted reminds us, it really comes down to a state of mind. It is much more important to be authentic to who you are as a parent and as a family rather than to make parenting decisions based on that which is expected of you by your community.
Okay, one LAST thing -- I shamelessly put Dace in a sundress that I knew would show off her cute little lavender Happy Heiny in hopes of sparking some cloth diapering conversation. And it worked! One of the mamas stopped me afterwards to talk cloth! She is thinking of making the switch because it pains her to see all the disposables that go out in the trash when they so meticulously recycle most everything else. I had a hot pink Fuzzi Bunzin the diaper bag to let her touch and experience. :) So maybe a seed was planted . . . we'll see.
First of all - YAY to comments! I am so excited someone is actually reading! hee hee! Meghan - you sweet mama. I stalk your blog relentlessly so I can relive all those wonderful newborn moments vicariously through you and Xan. *sigh* Treasure those days, woman!
Okay, that's probably enough exclamation points for one day.
So yesterday I shared my thoughts on my own introduction to Attachment Parenting and why it was the best choice for myself, for my husband, and for our daughter. I know not everyone is familiar with the concepts behind Attachment Parenting, so I wanted to share this article by Diane West that I think sums up the philosophy wonderfully.
AP State of Mind
It seems to me that in a lot of AP communities, both on and offline, there is a lot of emphasis on the parenting choices that often go hand-in-hand with APing . . . things like cloth diapering, babywearing, choosing not to vaccinate or circumcize, etc. But as the article so wonderfully explains, Attachment Parenting is a state of mind that governs all parenting decisions, not just parenting practices.
I have been thinking about what to share and when a lot in the past few days. I think Maria/Julie Andrews had the right idea when she sang that the beginning is a "very good place to start . . ." So let's start there.
I know I would not have chosen many of the natural parenting practices in our life if it weren't for the fact that I sort of stumbled into Attachment Parenting. I didn't choose Attachment Parenting - it chose me. I want to share on this blog some thoughts about this idea that I posted on a private mommy board I belong to. It's fairly long, but gives some perspective on how I came to find that for me and my household, we need to be AP:
September 18, 2005
Several years ago, when Kyle and I first started thinking about starting a family, his sister gave me her copy of Babywise. I read it several times because something in it seemed to make sense to me. (gasp! I know -- but keep reading!) On the surface, (and this is my opinion ONLY) Babywise appealed to the part of me that desperately wanted to do things the “right” way when it came to starting a family. My relationship with Kyle is extremely important to me, and BW made it sound like if you follow his plan, you can introduce a baby to the family without rocking the marital boat at all. PLUS, your baby will sleep through the night at 6 weeks! Or no later than 8 weeks! And, hey, what’s not to love about that? So I jumped on the BW wagon long before Dacey first danced for us on the ultrasound screen.
So, Dacey Allyse came into this world via emergency c/s at 5:43 am on Jan 28th. It was very scary at the end, and we could have lost her. Since I had no delusions of natural childbirth (I will be the first to admit I don’t do well with pain!), I wasn’t the least disappointed to have delivered through c/s. I was amazingly grateful that she was alive. So that first night, I asked everyone to leave to go get sleep -- really, I just ached to have some alone time with my daughter. By the end of the first night, I had pulled Dacey into bed with me, and already I felt guilty for breaking one of the “rules.” But I already felt powerfully attached to her. My bonding with her was instant and fierce beyond what I had dreamed possible. In those moments as she slept peacefully beside me in that hospital bed, I knew there was no way I could ever leave her alone to cry. . .
After we got home, I found I wanted to hold her all the time. I was struggling to make breastfeeding work, but thankfully my mother-in-law came for two weeks to take care of everything else so I could focus on Dacey. Sometimes she would suggest I might be holding Dace too much, and I sank deeper into guilt, because I so badly wanted to do the “right” thing and not spoil Dacey, but I was compelled to have her near me at all times! And so began the internal battles that mark so much of Dacey’s first months of life -- I desperately wanted to do the right things, but so much of what I read was “right” felt so WRONG to do!
I could go on and on about how miserable I was those first months -- constantly questioning my every decision -- should I have not rocked her to sleep? Did I let her cry too long? What’s going to happen if I keep rocking her to sleep? Why won’t she be content to stay in her bucket carrier while I grocery shop? I have her on a good feeding schedule -- WHY isn’t she sleeping through the night?? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? Worse still, I felt I couldn't be honest with my BW-following friends. Yes, of course she sleeps in her crib at night (at 6 weeks . . . . yeah right!). Mmmm hmmmm, I let her cry to sleep if she needs to (not even for FIVE MINUTES!!). But on the inside, I was torn. I felt like a fraud and a failure everyday.
Kyle, bless his heart, felt helpless to help me. He did encourage me to let Dacey sleep with us at night. He actually preferred to have her in bed with us! I kept asking him, “what if she is still sleeping with us when she is TWO?” “I don’t care!” he told me over and over. . . . Finally, he DEMANDED I not pick up another baby book. He could see how miserable I was. I cried almost every day. I was so disappointed. Disappointed in myself for not being strong enough to let her cry. Disappointed in Dacey for not acting the way the books all but promised she would. And I was scared. Was my “indulgence” of her going to turn her into the fussy, miserable, demanding baby that BW used as the example for “what not to do”???
(One bright spot in all of this -- feeding her was never a concern. We got through the first few weeks of breastfeeding and we both were doing great. I demand fed her for the first month, but quickly found that a loosely structured schedule of feedings really did work for both of us. Nursing Dacey was the only thing I felt confident in during those first months!)
OKAY, anyway!! Kyle’s boss’s wife had given me her copy of Sears’ The Baby Book when I was pregnant. Of course, since I was into BW, I just put in on the shelf. There’s no way I was falling for that AP stuff!! I thought, I don’t know much, but I know what AP kids turn into -- spoiled brats! (Yes, that was what I really thought!)
But you know what? I finally allowed myself to read something Dr. Sears wrote in Babytalk a few months ago. It was about high-needs babies. When Kyle and I read that article, we stared at each other. He had described Dacey perfectly. My heart softened toward Dr. Sears because he knew what having a high-needs baby was about, and he offered a peaceful, compassionate alternative to parenting her.
So last night, I finally got out The Baby Book and started reading a little bit. I was actually in tears. If only, IF ONLY!! If only I had read THAT when I was pregnant. If only I had KNOWN about the benefits of baby wearing and shared sleep and that not only is it okay to follow what your heart leads you to do in parenting, it is THE RIGHT THING TO DO. I feel so stupid that the encouragement and direction I desperately needed in those early months was on my bookshelf the whole time!!
So, if you are still reading this (and bless your heart if you are!), I guess I just want to say THANK YOU to all of the AP moms on here. In reading your posts, I saw that it’s okay that Dacey isn’t totally sleeping through the night yet. It’s okay to not let her cry it out or become a self-soother yet if it breaks my heart to do so. (And, again, no judgment implied or intended to those who have found success with CIO -- it just never worked for us.) It’s okay to hold and carry her when she wants to be held and carried. She will not be a monster baby! In fact, the funny thing is, people CONSTANTLY comment on what a laid-back, alert, content baby she is!! (Of course, she wasn’t in those early months, but amazingly, she is now!)
I could still go on and on about how in reading The Baby Book, I have found parenting advice that completely echoes the approach that Kyle and I sort of stumbled into on our own. But, there isn't much support for AP practices in my circle of friends. If it weren’t for the online support and encouragement I have found here, I don’t know how I would have made it. So thank you for consistently and passionately sharing your thoughts on parenting practices on here. Your collective support of AP has made a difference in our family. I still feel bad about how miserable and ignorantly stubborn I was in those first months, but all I can say is, now I know better and will do better in the future!
So yeah, that's how Attachment Parenting found me. What I love about AP is at its core, it encourages parents to really get to know their baby so they can best meet the needs of THAT baby - the one God entrusted them both to be able to parent. And as I will share in the coming days, it's within the world of APing that I discovered so many of the natural parenting practices that have made our lives more rich (and fun!) today.
Just messing around with stuff and want to see if I can post a pic . . .
Looks like I can! Presenting . . . Dacey in piggies!
Oh wow. As you can see, one un-endearing trait that I just can't seem to shake is my stunning propensity for starting projects and leaving them shockingly unfinished. The only-one-quarter-finished scarf that taunts me from it's dusty little spot on the end table in the living room reminds me that if I can't get a scarf knit (knitted?) in the span of a month, the prospect of all-knit Christmas presents looks rather dim.
Anyway, I have been reading up on some really great blogs lately, and that has rekindled within in me a desire to really get this show on the road.
In this blog, I am hoping to be able to share some information on natural parenting practices that I have taken up in the past 18 months. Some of the NP stuff I am into include cloth diapering, babywearing, and extended breastfeeding. I hope to also share information on circumcision, vaccinations, homeschooling (and unschooling) and other topics relevant to NP.
I am hope, hope, hoping to carve out some chunks of time a couple of times a week to get a few words down here and there. Have mercy on me! I have a toddler!
Seems i have gotten so busy parenting my toddler that I forgot about my blog! I am going to try to be back very soon with thoughts on crunchy parenting . . .
