In which I discover I really I am a fool

In every person's life, situations and circumstances come along that reveal the truth and depth of character that person possesses. Sometimes these situations and circumstances are big. Life-changing. Other times, it's an utterly ordinary scene that exposes the ugly hiding beneath the pretty.

A crucible, if you will.

There are few places on this planet that turn up the heat on my own personal crucible as hot as the open-twenty-four-hours-a-day-seven-days-a-week flame that is WalMart. And I'll tell you where I get singed every time . . . Not when I am walking the three point eight miles from one end of the store to the other because I forgot that now they stock the watercolors in the back by the toys and not in the front by the office supplies like they used to. It's not the snarly employees or the crying babies or the skanky bathrooms or even the mealy produce of questionable freshness. It's the check-out line. Every stinkin' time.

And so the last time I was there, I had AJ strapped on in the mei tai carrier and D riding shotgun in the cart which was filled to the brim with our weekly groceries. And wouldn't you know it? Wouldn't you just know it? At the Not-So-Okay Corral of check-out lanes, there were exactly two regular lanes open, two express lanes, and then the self check-out lanes. All of those were open, you bet.

Now I might not be the smartest mama on the block, but I do know better than to purposefully station myself in an already painfully long line near the check-out counters with a toddler in tow. A toddler who to this point had been amazingly patient and gracious while her mother zoomed her up and down the aisles, but a toddler, nonetheless, who was also known to go a little nutso upon spying the deliberately placed goodies next to the counters. After all, who can resist the glittery packs of gum? And what of the light-up pens? And the plethora of Dora playing cards? And the siren's song of just one more sippy cup?

So the two (and I am really not exaggerating for effect here, ladies, there were two) regular lanes were out. Express lane? Sure. Yeah, that's out. And what does that leave us with? Those darn self check-out lines.

Deep breath. Don't curse. She's talking now, remember?

No lines at the self check. So that's good. I start throwing things on the mini conveyor belt, muttering to myself about how this the last time, the last time I tell ya!, I will be shopping at WalMart and I am gonna go home and write me a letter, that's what I'm gonna do, and on and on. Meanwhile, a sort of (how shall I say this?) scruffy looking middle-age man gets in line behind me and starts chatting me up. I glared glanced at him and sorta half-heartedly responded to his attempts to chit-chat, but what I really wanted to do was bring about violent retribution on the check-out machine because every single time I tried to swipe an item, it would wait about five seconds and then instruct me to place the item in the bag and if I didn't do this on it's time frame, it froze up and I had to start all over.

Must. Not. Hurt. Anyone.

So I think you get the picture. By the time I endured that ordeal, I was exhausted. And annoyed. Annoyed with Chatty McSmall Talk, annoyed with WalMart, annoyed with the world.

Well, not at all coincidentally, the next day I was looking up a word in my Bible's concordance, and as I glanced through the listings, a word jumped out at me. Annoyance. I sorta chuckled and thought, "I don't remember annoyance showing up in Scripture." Curious, I turned to the lone verse listed under annoyance.

A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult. Proverbs 12:16, NIV

Well, hello Conviction. Good to see you.

Again.

Lip Balm for Your Thoughts!

So here's the deal . . . I am struggling with keeping up with my blog reading. I think probably I am not managing my blog reading very well and I would love to hear how you guys do it. I also know we are all pressed for time these days, so I want to make it worth your while to share your secrets, hints, and tips with me!

If you will answer these questions for me in the comments for this post, I will enter your name for a fun little drawing. The winner will receive one lip balm of her choice from Clear Hills Honey Company! Because CHHC is about to close for the holidays, I will close this drawing at 2 pm central time on Thursday, December 13. Winner will need to email me her address no later than 8 am on Friday, December 14 so I can get the order in promptly. (both bloggers and non-bloggers are eligible, so that means all my lurky and/or non-blogging readers are more than welcome to de-lurk today!!)

Okay, so here is what I am wondering . . .

1) Do you use a feed aggregator like Bloglines or Google Reader to do your blog reading? If yes, skip to #3

2) If you don't use a feed aggregator, how do you keep up with your favorite blogs?

3 a) If you do use a feed aggregator, how often do you "click through" to the actual blog to comment?
3 b) If the blog you are reading publishes truncated (shortened) feeds, does that make you more likely or less likely to click through and read the whole post?

4) For everyone - how many blogs do you read/subscribe to? Overall, are you happy or unhappy with how often you are able to read AND comment on your favorite blogs?

5) Feel free to share any advice or feedback that you think might help me better manage my blog reading time. :)

Everybody knows a turkey . . .

Or, in our case, a ham . . .



. . . helping to make our season bright.

Good to be back!

Must share

Hey ya'll. Just popping in to say, go read this at It's Almost Naptime.

May it comfort and inspire you as much as it has comforted and inspired me.

Back soon.

Evidently, I need some time off

Okay, I am just going to tell you all this right now so I can get it out in the open. Rather than celebrating the end of NaBloPoMo today, I am beating myself up over my latest entry in the ongoing contest of Worst Mommy of the Year Award. Are you ready? Brace yourself.

I dropped AJ.

Part of me wants to word this in the third-person . . . She fell out of her carseat. Onto the floor.

But the truth lies in the first person . . . I forgot to buckle her in the carrier carseat and picked it up and she flipped forward and landed face down. On the floor.

I can't recall that I have ever experienced anything quite as terrifying and sickening. When D was a baby, she fell off the bed a time or two (yes, see, I've got that Worst Mommy award in the bag, girls) but it was when she was an older baby. The sight of my precious, not-quite-three-months-old baby, face down on the floor . . . Oh ya'll. I am having a hard time shaking it.

This all happened this morning as I was leaving D in the nursery at our weekly community prayer coffee gathering and thankfully - thank you, God! - one of my sweet friends (also a mommy) held AJ for me while I called the doctor's office in tears. (FYI - I discovered today that if you are in near hysterics when you call the pediatrician's office, they put you straight to a nurse - no waiting for a call-back. Just so you know.)

My other sweet friends calmed me and made me laugh with their own tales of baby mishaps and accidents. That did make me feel better. And so far, she seems to be fine. But still. And I still haven't quite determined just how I am going to tell her daddy about this.

So even though I had a whole other post planned, this is what's on my mind today.

In other, non-child endangerment news, as I mentioned yesterday I am taking the next week off from blogging. Let's all pray I don't return from this week-long hiatus in the same condition I was in when last I returned from hiatus . . .

I so look forward to catching up on blog reading next week. Also, my friend Corey called me yesterday to see if I would mind publishing posts over at Living and Loving Every Minute of It while she is out of town. (Not guest posting! Just hitting the "publish post" button on her pre-planned, pre-written drafts.) So anyway, I'll be around. Just uncharacteristically quiet, as I suspect many in NaBloPoMo recovery will be . . .

The light, the tunnel, the end approaches

Almost there, girls. Almost there. Tomorrow is the 30th and I will be released for the self-imposed tyranny of NaBloPoMo. Again, thank you so much for your words of encouragement - especially here at the end.

By way of advance warning, I want to tell you after tomorrow I am taking a week off from publishing posts. I have been sorely neglectful of reading and commenting on some of my favorite blogs and I am craving some time to just luxuriate in all kinds of bloggy reading goodness.

I haven't done a Thursday Thirteen in a while and the lure of a list proves to be irresistible . . .

In Which I Reflect on NaBloPoMo'ing

1. I do not like to post every day.
2. I much prefer to take the weekends off from posting.
3. Answering questions from my readers really was quite fun.
4. I definitely appreciate all who submitted questions (and by the way, those I haven't gotten to will not go unanswered. I am saving them for a rainy day.).
5. Talking about my own views and history and experiences day after day gets really boring really quickly.
6. I did have fun guest posting at Velveteen Mind. I would like to guest post more often, I think.
7. Posting every day is a lot of pressure, and I don't know how mega Bloggers like Michelle at Scribbit do it.
8. I am so stinkin' proud of myself for following through and finishing a project!
9. There is much to be said for public accountability as motivation to stick to something.
10. I hope I win a prize, dang it.
11. Hmmmm, that's just about all I have to say about NaBloMoPo.
12. Just for fun, here's a few of the Google searches that brought readers to SortaCrunchy in the past month . . .

sugar makes teeth hurt - well yes, actually it does, doesn't it? Especially if you are drinking my Texas Sweet Tea.

mother babe breast - not sure what to say about that . . . I do one of the first and two each of the others if that helps you out at all.

t - Really? You did a Google search on a letter? And really? It brought you here? Strange, that.

moldy BREAD, BREASTFEEDING - and again, I am just unsure of what to say about that.

Back to my list . . .

13. So, NaBloPoMo. You and I are about to part ways. Knowing what I know now, would I do it all over again? Yeah, I sorta think I would. It's definitely been one of those things where if I hadn't participated, I would always wonder if I had what it takes to do it.

And that last statement strikes me as being just a bit too serious. It's just blogging, after all.

Go See

Teething infant. Potty-learning toddler. Target and Sam's and the post office (oh, my).

Lord only knows what will actually get accomplished around here today, but if nothing else, I can sleep easy knowing I did my part to Save The Bunny:



(Click on the bunny to go see my guest post at Velveteen Mind!)

SortaCrunchy Q&A #14 - Tips and Tricks (sorta)

It's just gorgeous here today. Really, really gorgeous. Days like today make me wanna belt out a few verses of "God Blessed Texas" (If you wanna see heaven brother here's your chance). Added bonus - Miss D has been especially delightful the past few days. Just a real dream of a child (where are you, O Wood, that I may knock upon you?), and that has made life particularly sweet in my SortaCrunchy home.

And that puts me in a good place to answer today's SortaCrunchy question from Birdie of BirdBrain. Birdie is a fun and funky (in a good way, girl!) new mama to one sweet little September '07 man - Otto. Stop over and say hey if you have time!

Birdie asks, "What are your favorite tricks and tools of the Mama trade? What objects/tricks/ideas/attitudes get you through the day with two little ones?"

Honestly, I don't have a lot of tips. Or tricks. Well, some tricks. Like telling D that Cliff Kid Chocolate Brownie Organic Z Bars are "Bunny Scout Brownies." Those brownies are my back-up plan when she refuses to eat a meal, and she is ever so delighted to devour a Bunny Scout Brownie - Max and Ruby style.

So yeah, I have tricks like that.

But my only real tip is one that was given to me by Martha Sears, the mama of the Attachment Parenting super duo who co-authored The Baby Book with her husband, Dr. William Sears.

(Sidenote - I know I talk about the Sears an awful lot. I am not on their payroll. I just love them. I truly, truly do. Their books and website helped bring me from a dark, disappointed, and unhappy place in my mothering to a joyful, uplifted, and inspired turnaround. That's all.)

So anyway.

Martha Sears writes in The Baby Book that in parenting her own high-needs child, she had to learn to get behind her eyes. That phrase, that instruction, that advice has been the single most helpful parenting tip I have ever come across.

When D was a baby and was crying, fussy, out-of-sorts, whatever, I would take a deep breath, close my eyes for a second or two, then open them and look right into my daughter's eyes. Then I would imagine her looking out at me and ask myself, "If I were looking out of those eyes, what would I need to see to feel better?" I sure wouldn't want to see an angry, frustrated, exhausted mama. So no matter how angry, frustrated, or exhausted I was, I forced myself to be the mama she needed me to be at that moment. More often than not, all she needed was some peace, compassion, and understanding . . . maybe in the form of a bouncy walk around the room, perhaps an extra long hug with quiet whispers of affirmation in her ear. It usually wasn't much, but it almost always worked to just get behind her eyes and really think about what is was she was needing.

I gotta tell ya'll this. Life is proving to be quite unfair to my angelic AJ. Her two bottom teeth are threatening to erupt any day now. Yes! At not quite three months! Bless her heart. So this laid-back and content angel of a baby has been uncharacteristically needy and fussy for a few days. I find myself going back to Martha's advice and still find it works like a charm. Heck, it even works when D is going into meltdown mode and she's almost three.

I wonder if it'll work for pre-teen hormonal angst? We'll see.

Anyway, friend Birdie, that is the best I can offer in terms of tips and tricks. I hope it helps you as much as it helped is helping me.

SortaCrunchy Q&A #13 - Quickly

The wonderfully sweet Karla of Looking Towards Heaven offered two questions for my SortaCrunchyMightHurtMyselfSoonBecauseI'mSoBoredWithItAll Q&A experiment. The second of the two is a very thought-provoking one (If you could write a letter to a persecuted Christian in a foreign country, what would it say?) that I want to come back to when I am over this burn out. (Five more days! No wait - after this post, four more days!!)

But her first question is one I am happy to answer today: What are your favorite quick night recipes and why?

Two words:

Cheese quesadillas.

(Or quesa-dill-as. Depends on where you live and how big of a Napoleon fan you are.)

Why? If there are two things we always, always have on hand in the SortaCrunchy kitchen, it's tortillas and shredded cheese. Slap 'em together, toss 'em in a skillet, and voila! Dinner is served. You can get all fancy with them, adding chicken or beans or veggies - I use whatever I have on hand. Quesadillas and tortilla chips some fresh veggies have been served as dinner around here many a-night. D always eats them up, too, which is a blessed bonus.

What works for fast and easy in the kitchen for you?

SortaCrunchy Q&A #12 - It's a Family Tradition

Here's a little insight into the part of the country in which I grew up: Whenever someone mentions the words family tradition, some force that is beyond my control plugs in the honkey-tonk jukebox in my mind, pops in a quarter, and sends up Hank William Junior's "Family Tradition" . . . (Don't ask me Hank/why do you drink?/(Hank) why do you roll smoke?/Why must you live out the songs that you wrote?)

(Sing it with me, Melissa E! I know you know the words!)

So yes, I'll be humming along to that morally pure and uplifting anthem while answering this question from my Sweet Friend Mary Ann of Mountainer Mommy: What family tradition from when you were a child do you hope to continue with your family?

Well, it just so happens that really the only traditions my family has have to do with the holidays. How timely! My family always, always, always put up the Christmas tree on Thanksgiving weekend. Our family tree evolved through the years. When we were younger, it was decked out in handmade and hand-painted ornaments and brightly colored tree lights. If I close my eyes, I can still see it standing in all its glory - blue and red and yellow and orange lights twinkling amidst gold tinsel and silver "Baby's First Christmas" bells. As we got older, my mom reclaimed the tree and chose a lovely maroon and gold angels theme. The colored lights were replaced with the more refined white ones, and the "Baby's First" ornaments were tucked away in keepsake boxes. No matter what went up on the tree, Thanksgiving weekend was always the designated time to do the decorating.

Tonight we are putting up our tree. It's the first tree we have put up in seven years! Up until this past summer, we had two cats in our family. The temptation proved to be too great for the naughty kittens, and I finally got tired of having to redecorate the tree every morning. But the cats have found other homes now, and Miss D is enamored with Christmas trees this year, so putting up a tree will be a long-awaited event for us. My dear, wonderful, Sweet Friend Keara gave us a tree they weren't using and I am so excited for the fun that awaits us! We'll keep it simple for now . . . I have to save room for all the D and AJ originals that are sure to fill the boughs in years to come.

SortaCrunchy Q&A #11 - On blogging

Last week, Megan of Velveteen Mind shared one of her NaBloMoPo concerns, "Possibly the worst aspect of NaBloPoMo is that so many solid posts get buried. I much prefer giving my blog some room to breathe." I could not agree more! Well, I don't have all that too many solid posts around here, but I do prefer some breathing room. Yes, that's exactly why I am getting so resentful of NaBloPoMo'ing . . . I'm feeling a tad claustrophobic on my own blog.

And since we are speaking of blogging, I present to you the next in the SortaCrunchy Q&A series. This question is from Linda of 2nd Cup of Coffee. Linda is a wonderful writer and I have so enjoyed my time spent reading over there. Please stop by and say hi if you get a chance!

Linda asked, "Why do you think blogging has become such a phenomenon, and what do you personally gain from blogging?"

Very good. Very good question.

To begin with, I think blogging has become such a phenomenon for the same reasons social networking sites like Myspace and Facebook have taken off. These modes of communication meet two basic needs that most people have . . . a craving for community and the desire to belong.

As far as what I personally gain from blogging - well, I guess I get both of those needs met in a very fulfilling way. I love my little blogging community - a small circle of women who have come to be good friends of mine and the larger circle of mommy blogs where I "see" so many familiar faces. Blogging allows me to participate in an amazing community of women whom I will probably never have the pleasure of fixin' a cup of coffee for, but who are very dear to me nonetheless. Building relationships through comments and email affirms for me that this is a place I belong.

I feel sorta funny saying all of that because I have a spectacular and supportive community of friends in my hometown who are just to die for. So it's not like I rely primarily or solely on blogging for community. I don't know . . . maybe a childhood full of relocations has left me with an extra deep need to connect with others and find a niche into which I fit?

So those are my thoughts on blogging. Now I would really, really love to hear yours! Whether in the comments or as a post at your own blog, please share your answer to Linda's question. Can't wait to hear your thoughts!

SortaCrunchy Q&A #10 - Celebrity wanna-be

This is my last question from friend Lori: "If you could be a celebrity for a day who would you be and why?"

Heidi Klum. She's a hoot! I love her on Project Runway. And I hear she cloth diapers.

What about you guys? If you could walk in someone else's Jimmy Choos for the day, who would it be?

Edited, Saturday, November 23rd - I wanna change my answer! Stacey reminded me that I lurve Jennifer Garner. She seems very classy, collected, sweet, and smart. Heidi Klum, you're fab and all, but I have to go with Jennifer G on this one . . .

Thankful

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

James 1:17 (NASB)

Verily

Woe, woe unto thee, foolish woman! For thou hast committed a grievous error. In thy foolishness, thou hast chosen to gather food for thine household on a day of unparalleled madness in the market of thine city.

Dost thou not know? Hast thou not heart? The Lord spake unto the a command, “Do not enter into the marketplace of the city on the day preceding the feast of Thanksgiving. To do so would be great folly. Travel to the marketplace earlier in the week and by doing so save yourself from great sorrow.”

But you, O woman, you have neglected the Lord’s command. And this shall be your punishment.

You shall find the marketplace to be in great chaos, just as it was prophesied unto you. In the aisles there will be cursing, gnashing of teeth, casting of evil glances, great and heavy sighs of aggravation, and the wailing of young children. Ye shall find the aisle of spices and flour to be depleted; verily, ye shall look for the cinnamon sticks but the cinnamon sticks shall not be found.

For the schools have released the schoolchildren and the wives have sent their husbands with their children to the market. But the children and the husbands do not keep the holy laws of the marketplace. They have no understanding of the teaching which says, “Thou shalt not stand in one place reading labels whilst others need to pass by you, for doing so will cause the people to have great anger burning in their hearts against you. Verily, it would be better to cast your fatted calf to the dogs than to cause the flow of cart traffic to be obstructed and provoke the people to burn with indignation.”

And yet, O woman, after you have endured the trials and tribulations of the punishment set before you, the punishment for thy great and grievous error, ye shall escape from your ordeal unharmed. And as thou packest the food for thine household into thy car, a new song will be in thine mouth. A song of praise, for the Lord our God has been good to you.

Verily, I say unto thee, the Lord God, Jehovah Jireh - God our Provider - He hath provided for thee indeed.

SortaCrunchy Q&A #9 - Back to School

Can I tell ya'll something? You guys are just blessing my heart!

I have been a little complain-y about NaBloPoMo - which is stupid, really. I could decide to stop right now and I am pretty sure the universe wouldn't implode, but there's this part of me that really does want to just finish. One of my most ginormous character flaws resides in my inability to follow through on projects that I start. From housework to knitting to ironing to writing . . . ugh. I sit amongst a plethora of half-finished good intentions. So anyway, I am forcing myself to finish NaBloMoPo for reasons other than the chance at winning one of many! fabulous! prizes!

In the midst of my daily posting, however, I have started to get really sick of myself. Seriously. I am so over hearing what I have to say about anything! Looking back, I invited this on myself when I settled on a Q&A theme for the month. Yeah, I didn't really think that through very well, huh? But you guys have been lifting me up through your sweet and timely comments. Thank you so much. I really do read each one and have been treasuring them greatly this month!

On to today's question. Another from Lori who asks, "If you could go back to college for free, would you? What would you study?"

What beautiful irony - this speaks to another half-finished area of my life!

Right after The Coach and I graduated with our undergrads, he began his graduate assistantship at our alma mater which meant beginning his Masters work. We were full-time university employees (residence hall advisors for the freshman dorm. Fun!), so our tuition was free. Since I was basically an at-home wife with a husband jugglign grad work and coaching, I took full advantage of the university's offer and began graduate work in education with a specialization in library media science. If I ever return to the work force, I can't imagine a more fun job than being a librarian! (Oh yes, I am quite the uber-nerd. I told ya so!)

But life intervened and uprooted us from our ol' Okie home and moved us southward to Fort Worth. I started teaching full-time, and you guessed it - never finished my Masters!

So, yes. If it were free and my children were in good hands, I would love to go back and complete my Masters in Library Science. If nothing else, getting to read all of the latest and greatest in the world of children's and young adult literature would make it all worth my while. (And would be a delicious reward for the less glamorous courses on the ins-and-outs of copyright law and cataloging and classification.)

What about ya'll? Is anyone in school right now? As we speak? (Ha! I caught you not doing your homework!) Anyone with plans to go back to school in the Great Someday?