SortaCrunchy Philosophy and Policies

SortaCrunchy Philosophy

Though I feel it is through natural living practices that I have been able to more fully live out what I have always believed, my identity is not grounded in the world of natural living. My identity is first and foremost in Christ Jesus. I love the Word of God and believe it is ultimate truth. I also believe that many natural living beliefs and practices speak to and echo many passages in Scripture. It is my hope that my life would have a gentle impact on the people and resources around me; that though I am a stranger in this land, I would not pass through this world detached from and uncaring of all that God has entrusted to me. I want to be invested and intentional in the words I speak (here and beyond the confines of electronic communication) and in the choices I make for myself and my family.

Mission Statement

My desire is for the SortaCrunchy blog to be a place of discussion and dialogue at the intersection of faith and a life more natural.

Comment Policy

I welcome comments from any reader at any time! I encourage my readers to offer agreement, disagreement, correction, support, and related resources. Additionally, I reserve the right to moderate and, if needed, delete comments that I deem to be inappropriate, intentionally inflammatory, or disrespectful to myself or my readers.

Blogroll Policy

I enjoy reading many blogs and commenting as much as possible. I am not as diligent as I would like to be in updating my blogroll, but I am happy to add the blogs of SortaCrunchy readers upon request. I reserve the right to decline a request to be added.
The blogs I read and list on my blogroll are diverse and may not reflect my own personal beliefs.

Crunchy Resources

Within the Crunchy Resources, I have included a mixture of non-profit organizations and natural living product vendors. I try to find resources that offer helpful information to anyone interested in natural living. I welcome suggestions for new sites and resources to be added.


Reviews

Are you a vendor of a product related to natural living or to parenting? I would be happy to do a review for you. Please contact me through email for further details.

Menu Plan Monday

Thank you, Laura, for hosting!

Well, The Coach went back to work this morning after a couple of weeks of vacation. We have gotten so much done around here! And by "we," I mostly mean "he!" The man built and installed and replaced and trimmed and cooked (well, grilled actually - but that's cooking, right?) and shopped . . . I am confident he was glad to be back at work today so he could take a break from the past month! Anyway, with the hubby back at work, I am hoping D and I can back into our regular routines as well, and that means an actual menu plan for the week!

We are some grilling fools here in the SortaCrunchy home. Our grill lay wasting away in exile in the garage of some friends of ours while we were in the apartment. Now that it has made its glorious return, we have been grilling three, four, and sometimes five nights a week!

If ya'll haven't had grilled bananas, you are truly missing out. Lay the bananas (in their complete skin) on the grill for a few minutes on each side. When you open them, they will be hot and sweet and need only some brown sugar, cinnamon, and maybe a little splash of vanilla to make them the perfect (and perfectly easy) summer dessert. Yum!

Monday - grilled chicken breasts, Grilled Mustard Potato Salad, mixed green salad

Tuesday - cheeseburger mac, broccoli (baby shower night for Mama! So fast and easy dinner for D and her daddy)

Wednesday - Slow Cooker Tender and Yummy Round Steak, fresh veggies (depending on what we find at the Farmer's Market)

Thursday - Bobcat Bash! (annual fundraiser and catfish fry)

Friday - taco night with all the fixings

Saturday - grilled sirloin steak, Quick Sesame Green Beans, garlic bread

Sunday - steak soup (made with leftovers from the steak this week), cornbread, veggies

Head over to I'm An Organizing Junkie for more great menu plans!

Blessings! And a little housekeeping . . .

Oh, how happy I am that proverbs31 at Bringing Good Home shared about this great giveaway at Fina' Drea! This darling little (Texas-based!) company called Blessed Baby is giving away one of the precious, faith-inspired onesies from their sweet little collection. I am all about cute and funny clothes on babies, but this is the first company I have come across that blends cute with a great message. Don't ya'll think Little Sister needs one of the Love is Patient onesies? I surely do. Lots of you sweet friends are growing some blessed babies right now, so I know you will want to head over to Fina' Drea to enter!

Now, a quick housekeeping note. I am doing some changing and shuffling around in my sidebar, and over the weekend, I am hoping to get a post up regarding some SortaCrunchy policies. Just wanted to give you the heads-up, but I truly hope that over the weekend each of you are out and about and enjoying July somewhere with some fresh air. Or at least some air conditioning.

Follow-up chat on mama cloth

Great comments from yesterday, mamas!

Nichole mentioned trying to get the hang of cloth diapering before she took the plunge into mama cloth, but I have to say that in my experience the learning curve with cloth pads is much less steep than the one with cloth diapers. With cloth diapering, there are so many choices and systems - it's all very overwhelming in the beginning. Or it was for me anyway!

There are a few basic decisions to be made with mama cloth: what sort of waterproof material do you want it backed with (PUL? Wool? Heavy fleece?), what length would you like for the pad to be, wings or no wings, one snap or two . . . So yes, some decisions to be made. But really, that's the fun part! With disposable pads and tampons, your customization choices are limited to light, medium, or heavy flow. One of the gorgeous things about mama cloth is that you get to pick what works for you and your unique body and preferences.

Trust me when I say that caring for cloth pads is basically fool-proof! You can soak them or not, dry them in the dryer or not (well, unless you use wool backing - then you won't want to dry them in the dryer), treat staining or don't. It's really no big deal.

For anyone who is even slightly intrigued, I highly suggest you order yourself some liners and just see what you think. They generally run about $6 each, so if you hate it, you aren't out that much. I'm sure there is some way you could recycle its use around the house, and I am going to stop short of listing some of the inappropriate ideas that just came to my mind. :)

Two of my fave mama cloth makers are Daisy Girl Designs and Go With The Flo. Daisy Girl makes an amazing thong pad, probably my very favorites in my stash. I have to warn you these are pretty tricky to get a hold of, but you can find some if you know where/how to look. Robin at Go With The Flo is an outstanding seamstress and uses scrumptious materials. I love her mini-pads the best.

Noah mentioned Luna Pads, and although I haven't tried these, they are certainly a well-established and popular maker of mama cloth. And finally, Homemade Mama is an extremely popular WAHM maker of cloth pads who shares lots of good information on her site. I am hoping to be able to add at least one, if not two, of her Ultimate II Pads for postpartum use.

If and when some of ya'll decide to give it a try, please do let me know. I would love to hear your experiences - good and bad!

Let's talk mama cloth

(By means of preface, if I have somehow garnered any male readers, or if you are a man and have stumbled across this post by accident, I want to prepare you now for what promises to be a candid discussion of feminine hygiene. It has been my experience that most men would rather slam their pinkie finger in the car door than to take part in any conversation that includes the words "period," "tampon," "pads," or even "postpartum," so please do consider yourselves warned and feel free to click away immediately. Won't hurt my feelings one bit.)

With that said, let's commence.

Within the realm of natural family living, there is a fun little term that will generally spark delight in the hearts of all crunchy and sortacrunchy mamas - fluffy mail. What is fluffy mail? Simply, it's mail that contains items that are soft and squeezable rather than flat and texturally undelightful. In the context of natural living products, fluffy mail most often refers to baby carriers (the kind one uses to wear the baby), cloth diapers, or mama cloth (also known as cloth menstrual pads). And it is that last category of fluffy mail that I want to talk about today because yesterday, Mama got some fluffy mail of her own:

These little pretties are the custom postpartum pads I ordered from RCD Boutique - a Hyena Cart vendor who hails from Canada and makes and sells all manor of crunchy goodies. (I want to pause and say Rosie was a dream to work with - excellent communication, perfect sewing, amazing turnaround time. Big thumbs-up for this WAHM!)

Now might be a good time to tell you that as recently as a year ago, I had fairly well determined that although I loved many aspects of natural living, there were some lines I was just not going to cross. Using cloth pads ranked high on my Thanks, But No Thanks list of changes I couldn't (wouldn't) make. I am ashamed to say this, but I have never been one of those women who fully embraces the magic and mystery of the monthly cycle. I want to be. Really, I do. But mostly I see that time of the month as a fairly big inconvenience and therefore want to take care of it in the most convenient way possible. The thought of purchasing - and using! - cloth items actually made me a bit queasy.

And yet . . .

I found myself drawn to the mama cloth forums on the cloth diapering boards I frequent, and the more I read from mamas who were happy - enthusiastic even! - having made the switch to cloth pads, the more intrigued I became. Here's a little confession for ya'll: Though my first period arrived when I was in the sixth grade, I didn't use a tampon for the first time until the summer before I started college. Since that time, the only, only, time I used pads was when I was postpartum with D. I loathe disposable pads with all that is within me, and I think this was a major hurdle in my thinking as I contemplated switching to cloth pads. Plus, there is the "ick" factor. Although tampons aren't totally ick-free, at least when you're done with one, you're done.

Eventually my curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to start small. A few pantyliners - that's it. Imagine my astonishment when I found I was actually looking forward to the end of my period so I could use these sweet little things that were gorgeously, luxuriously soft and gentle. Honestly, is there a realm of the women's body more deserving of luxury? Seriously!

And the "ick" factor? You know what? It's not that bad! (I suppose you might want to remember that I am not bothered by the ick factor of cloth diapering, either, so I guess it's all relative.) But honestly, caring for my mama cloth is no big deal. There are several options, but I personally like to soak mine in cold water and then just wash them in my regular laundry. They can be thrown in with your diaper laundry as well. And the soaking water makes a great drink for your plants!

As I skimmed around the web, I found this great article at Wikipedia that explains the details far better than I could, and I highly recommend perusing it to find out more.

So back to my fluffy mail . . . I took a few side-by-side shots to further illustrate why I am so excited to have some mama cloth to get through my upcoming postpartum weeks. This picture shows how much more aesthetically alluring mama cloth is as compared to your average disposable pad:Now really, who could argue the pretty factor? This was just one choice of a plethora Rosie at RCD offers. The possibilities are endless. The side that is showing is the side that will face away from my body. Let's take a look at the insides:I'm sure each of you are familiar with the inside of a disposable pad - that plasticky netting that covers layers of paper (and chemicals) and is surrounded by fantastically painful adhesive. Good times. What you may not have experienced is the amazingly soft feel of silky microfleece against your skin. Inside a cloth pad are layers of some sort of textile (cotton, hemp, etc) that do the work of absorption - no chemicals here! And you can choose from several options to make the whole pad leak-proof. I like my pads to have wings, so rather than frustrating and irritating adhesive, my pads have simple snaps that help the pad to stay in place. You can also find contour (no wing) pads if that is your preference.

Finally, when was the last time you opened a pack of Always and discovered a thank you note from the company?

I look forward to hearing from ya'll on this and welcome questions and comments!

Wordless Wednesday - First House

Rockin!

I wanted to take a minute to say a HUGE thank you to Christy at After a Cup of Coffee . . . or Two. I have really enjoyed getting to know Christy though her blog. She has a straightforward, honest way about her that I so appreciate. Anyway, this sweet thing has bestowed upon me the award of

What a fun surprise and great treat! I rolled over 31 weeks today and I feel anything but rockin'. Sweaty? Yes. Stinky? Yes. Gassy? It's not pretty. So to know that in the realm of blogland anyone would consider me to be rockin' totally makes my day!

Now, the way I understand it is I now get to choose five fellow blogistas to receive this award. This is so hard, ya'll! I have many, many friends who blog. (Seriously, have you checked out my blogroll? It's insane.) In addition to all of my bloggin friends, I have a Google Reader that spilleth over with bloggy goodness. Ay yi yi! I have given this way more thought than is necessary, I am sure . . .

First two go to Reesh at Two Pink Lines and Birdie at BirdBrain. Each of these rockin' girls are also expecting new babes in September. Reesh is an all-out crunchy superstar and looks totally rockin these days. Birdie is expecting baby numero uno and I have so loved reliving all those wonderful first pregnancy thoughts through her blog.

The next two go to two wonderful friends of mine. These were the hardest to choose because I really think each and every one of my bloggin' friends totally rocks! Lori at Fairytales and Margaritas is an amazing mama to four, babywearing advocate, and outstanding mama role model to me. She is one of the most generous and thoughtful women I have ever met and I feel so honored to call her friend. Julie at Peaceful Chaos keeps me laughing and thinking and always ready to hear more with her fun and reflective writing.

Finally, someone I have really enjoyed getting to know in blogland is Jordan at MamaBlogga. I love that she hosts writing projects that have inspired great writing across the web. Blog-savvy but very down-to-earth, her blog is a great mix of advice, encouragement, and reflection.

So there we go. Feel free to share the love, ladies!

Sorta Settled

Hi ya'll!

Thanks so much to everyone for the sweet comments and well-wishes during this blogging break. I am so thrilled to say that we have safely landed in our new home and are fast at work feathering our new nest. The Coach has been like a man possessed this past month - cleaning and building and gardening and shopping . . . oh my! It would be impossible for me to say how much I appreciate all he has done to fix up the first house we have called home. Hard to believe, right? That it would be impossible for me to say something- the woman who can say so little with so many words. But really, it's too much. He's a rock star.

I am about halfway through my Google Reader and still have so much to read. I promised myself I would not comment on anyone's blogs while I do my catch-up reading. I have an inappropriate amount of blog guilt that tends to worsen when I start picking and choosing where I comment, so I am forcing myself to shut my mouth until I am finally caught up! Lots of great stuff has been posted in the past two weeks (is that it? Two weeks? I could swear it's been two months!), so this bloggy Quiet Game is causing me no small amount of anguish, but I gotta stick to it. Thanks for your patience.

The Coach's vacation time lasts through next week, so my time online will continue to be a bit sketchy as we finish a mountain of projects together. And, oh yeah! We are at T-minus two months until Little Sister arrives, and I am nesting like never before. Looking forward very much though to swimming the gentle waters of my favorite pools in the blogosphere very, very soon!

Blog, Interrupted

Just when I was getting into my blogging groove . . .

Our internet service gets switched to the new house sometime today ("sometime before 5 pm" - so helpful when they are so specific . . .), but I can't say for sure when I will be back online. We have family coming in to help with the unpacking and setting up of the new household, and for a variety of other reasons, you may not see this SortaCrunchy mama again until the middle of July.

In the meantime, if you could help me out by not sharing any not-to-be-missed insights, hilarious stories, or darling pictures, that would be great. Then I won't be sitting around wondering what I am missing out on!

In my absence, be good, eat lots of ice cream, and stay happy, healthy, and bare-footed!

Presenting the Royal Heinie!

Ya'll are going to LOVE this!

As part of Stephanie's summer of giveaways, she is offering up a super cool diaper purse from Stroller Mama. Um, take yourself just a minute to shop through Stroller Mama! Clearly, they have some of the best selection of such cool baby gear!!

But isn't this My Royal Heinie just the cutest little thing? And ya gotta love mom-invented stuff because you know it's been tested by the pros. As it turns out, the Key West (which Stephanie is giving away) is the very one I would have chosen myself.

Be sure to get your entry in by Sunday evening. As with all of Steph's giveaways, it's so super easy.

Happy shopping!

Yes, but what shall we call her?

What does it say about me as a writer that I am much more prone to posting lists these days than anything of substance?

At any rate, here's my first ever Thursday Thirteen!

Little Sister remains nameless. This causes no small amount of grrrrrrr for me when everyone - EVERYONE! - is asking if we have picked a name yet. Granted, The Coach and I won't reveal her name until she arrives, but there's a difference in telling people "no, not yet!" with a grin because we are being coy, and telling people "no, not yet!" because we are fairly convinced there just is not a name out there for this child.

When we came across Dacey's name, we just knew. It spoke to us. It sang to us. It took a while to find it, but when we found it, we knew. That magic moment hasn't happened yet as we have gone through name negotiations this time. I do have to say on hubby's behalf that he is being much more reasonable this time. He still isn't making name lists of his own, but rather than meeting each suggestion with "NO!" or instantly coming up with every possible awful playground nickname a name could create, he has offered up lots of "hmmmmm . . . maybe . . ."

So, here are thirteen names on the list right now. In no particular order.

Oh, and the meaning of a name is fairly important to me, so I have included their meanings.

And her middle name will be Joy. Or maybe Kate. But probably Joy.

1. Adeline Joy (nickname Addie; Kyle's great-aunt's name was Adeline)
noble, kind

2. Jocelyn Joy (or possible Jocelyn Anne)
merry

3. Daphne Joy
of the laurel tree

4. Kalila Joy
A darling girl, sweetheart

5. Laura Joy/Lauren Joy
crowned with laurel

6. Tierney Joy
One who is regal, lordly

7. Misha Joy (long e sound, as in mee sha)
who is like God? love the meaning of this one

8. Mia Joy
who is like God?

9. Laila Joy
a beauty of the night

10. Leisl Joy (our last name is German and pairing it with Leisl is really unique)
my God is bountiful

11. Lizbeth Joy
my God is bountiful

12. Cara Joy
one who is loved

13. Alaina Joy
beautiful and fair; dear child

I covet your feedback! Thoughts on these? And suggestions for others? Maybe someone out there needs to delurk today to offer up just the right name for this child. I am open to feedback of all kinds!

100 Things About Me!

*cue confetti cannons and trumpeters*

Can you believe it? This is my One! Hundredth! Post!

I am delighted to participate in the age-old grand tradition of blogging one hundred things about my sortacrunchy self . . .

1. I like to talk. A lot.

2. I "talk" much more online than I do in real life.

3. I was born in hot and humid Houston, Texas,

4. but did most of my growing up in sorta hot and sorta humid Oklahoma.

5. I have never worn a pair of Wranglers in my life.

6. I can, however, two-step. Sorta.

7. I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was six years old,

8. which seems really young, but my parents and pastor made sure I had a genuine understanding of the concept of salvation.

9. I don't think I really began to live out my faith until I was in my early twenties.

10. I was boy-crazy in high school.

11. I was not a great friend in high school.

12. I was an even worse sister.

13. I am the oldest of four children (two sisters and a brother).

14. Before D was born, I wanted to have five children.

15. Now I think three is a good number.

16. I've been in so many tornadoes I have lost count.

17. I am not afraid of tornadoes, but I am terrified of lightening. Pathologically terrified.

18. I was a senior in high school when the Murrah building in Oklahoma City was bombed.

19. I was buying shoes for prom that morning.

20. My husband (whom I had not met yet) was sitting in class at a university 20 miles north and heard the explosion.

21. My senior year in high school, I went on a cruise in the Bahamas.

22. The only other times I have been outside of the USA were for a day trip to the Canada side of Niagara Falls in college, and a day trip to Matamoras, Mexico, on our honeymoon.

23. I have a degree in Secondary English education from a East Central University in Ada, Oklahoma.

24. I went to college on a full-ride scholarship in English

25. which I am still convinced I received only as a fluke.

26. But I am still thankful I graduated from school with no school loans.

27. I LOVED COLLEGE!

28. I am an alumna of Chi Omega.

29. My younger sister is a Chi O, too.

30. I was her new member educator in our chapter.

31. I wrote a lot in college.

32. I like to go back and read those papers.

33. I miss being able to read and write all the time.

34. I love college football

35. so much that I married me a college football coach.

36. The fall is my very favorite season of the year.

37. It doesn't really cool off here until October (at the earliest)

38. but I still love the start of school and the beginning of the football season.

39. I have a love/hate relationship with Texas

40. depending on what the weather is like.

41. I taught English for three years before D was born.

42. I taught sophomores, juniors, and seniors.

43. I loved it.

44. But I could never go back to teaching English now that I have children.

45. If I ever do go back to work, I want to be a school librarian.

46. I am a born nerd

47. and not the least bit ashamed of it.

48. I love coffee!

49. I was, at one time, a barista at Starbucks.

50. I am something of a coffee snob.

51. Ever since I worked at Starbucks, I drink my coffee black

52. but I am not opposed to a toffee nut latte every now and again either.

53. I drink coffee even when I am pregnant.

54. One cup a day.

55. The only time I have completely cut out coffee was the first month of breastfeeding D.

56. Maybe that's why she wasn't a good sleeper as a baby.

57. Even when not pregnant, I cry at the drop of a hat.

58. My husband says I am the "cryingist" person he knows.

59. I cry at commercials, I cry at TV shows, I cry at movies.

60. It's embarrassing really, but not much I can do to change it.

61. I am really anal retentive about some things

62. like being on time. I cannot stand to be late.

63. I am really laid-back about other things

64. like cleaning house.

65. I was born without the house cleaning gene.

66. I especially loathe cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen.

67. I do, however, like to vacuum.

68. I vacuum every other day.

69. I like to do laundry!

70. Buy I hate ironing.

71. I love reality TV.

72. We don't have cable, just local stations.

73. I miss Project Runway the most.

74. Oh, and the Food Network.

75. I love to cook!

76. I love to bake!

77. I wish I had a full-time housekeeper.

78. My three favorite books are To Kill a Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby and Francine Rivers' Redeeming Love.

79. My favorite movies are O Brother, Where Art Thou?, The Burbs, and Secondhand Lions.

80. I couldn't choose my favorite songs to save my life, but three of my favorite CDs are Dixie Chicks' Fly and Jimmy Buffet's Songs You Know by Heart, and Alanis Morisette's Jagged Little Pill.

81. I got married three days before my 21st birthday.

82. I didn't believe it at the time, but we really were just kids!

83. Before D was born, I had never had stitches.

84. I have never broken any bones.

85. I wish I were funnier.

86. My husband is one of the funniest people I have ever met.

87. I have crazy, crazy dreams

88. that only get crazier when I am pregnant.

89. My family calls me Joseph the Dreamer.

90. I love dark chocolate.

91. I also LOVE cereal.

92. I eat at least one bowl a day, but that is just the bare minimum.

93. I am nosey.

94. I like to eavesdrop.

95. I think that is why I like reading blogs so much. It's socially acceptable eavesdropping.

96. I haven't had a haircut in six months.

97. I have never been to a water park. Or water-skiing. Or snow-skiing.

98. I am a lousy singer.

99. I have a ton of freckles.

100. Evidently, I am pretty self-centered because this list of 100 wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be!

One hundred posts! One hundred things you were dying to know about me! Come on, bring on the comments. You know you want to. ;)

Connected

"Come lay down next to me," was the invitation as I set the fresh and full coffee mug on his bedside table this morning.

I slipped under the sheets next to him (well, as much as my seven months pregnant self can "slip" under anything) and wrapped my arm around him, my chest to his back. Eyes closed, I am taken back to many, many mornings in the first years of our marriage when we had nothing else to do other than lay next to each other in bed and talk, accompanied by the music of morning birds and illuminated by the gentle prodding of the rising sun.

In those days, with my chest to his back and my arm around him, I remember my heartbeat keeping time with his. Now a pregnant belly is sandwiched between our heartbeats, confirming rather than interrupting our connection.

It is not always like this. There are times when I feel I am standing on a beach, watching our intimacy recede further and further away, washed out to an unswimmable expanse by tides of distraction, exhaustion, and miscommunication.

I operate under an unshakable belief that life moves ever forward in cycles.

A couple of months before we were married, we went through a ropes course together. I was so scared. He, of course, was not. Vividly I remember being up - so far up! - above the ground, shaking and unsure. He held my safety line and called up to me with words of empowerment and courage. My Coach.

It isn't until we awaken to find ourselves in a season of stress that I realize how tightly I am gripping that safety line. Daunting circumstances and difficult days can be a breeding ground for distance, severing the cords of connection; but, oh, what sweet surrender in allowing myself to slow down and accept an invitation to come lay down next to him. My man.

On this day

I've been tagged! Ingrid tagged me for this easy and fun little meme.

ON THIS DAY
Go to Wikipedia and type in your birthday (only the month and day). Choose and write down 3 events, 2 births and 1 holiday. Then tag 5 friends.

June 16th

1487 - Battle of Stoke Field, the last dying breath of the Wars of the Roses.
1846 - The Papal conclave of 1846 concludes. Pope Pius IX is elected pope, beginning the longest reign in the history of the papacy (not counting St. Peter).
1960 - Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho opens in New York.

1938 - Joyce Carol Oates, American novelist
1971 - Tupac Shakur, American Rapper

Bloomsday, in honour of Leopold Bloom, the hero of James Joyce's Ulysses set on 16 June, 1904.

I tag Karen, Lauren, Mary Ann, Nikkie, and Sara!

To her Daddy

Father's Day! Before I forget, Happy Father's Day to my sweet husband and to all of the fathers out there.

As I was purging and packing last week, I came across a little something I had written years ago when I was teaching. I could just kick myself for not dating this or noting to myself the occasion for having written it . . . all I know is I must have written it at school because it's scribbled on stationery I used only in my classroom.

I have debated all week on whether or not to publish it here. It's pretty simplistic and cutesy and almost cheesy, but it illustrates an aspect of my relationship with God that has never been more real to me than in the past year. My relationship with my father is complicated. I love him, of course . . . but the word that best defines the way I experience my father is unsteady. Because I have never really been able to rely on my earthly father for stability, I have been able to experience the unchanging, ever-reliable love of my Heavenly Father with such sweet depth that I have the freedom to love my earthly father just for who he is. And that allows me the freedom to rejoice in the truth of Romans 8:15 where the Apostle Paul writes, ". . . the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' "

Again, I can't remember the exact circumstances that prompted this little writing. Please know that I never feel more naked and exposed than when I share my writing with anyone, but I feel sharing this is one way of living out my desire to be more authentic with what I write here.

A Little Girl To Her Daddy

Daddy, I don't feel good.
You don't feel good? Show me where it hurts.
Right here.
Your heart?
Uh-huh. My heart hurts.
Why does your heart hurt?
I think it's broken.
Child, how did your heart get broken? Tell me what happened.
Well, it all started when I had an idea. It was just a thought, really. Then it started to grow. I took care of it and loved it and watched it bloom. That thought grew into a dream. It was a good dream, Daddy, one that I really wanted to come true. I thought it would make me happy. But now I know it won't be coming true. And that's why my heart hurts.
Oh my child, I understand what has happened. You set your heart on a dream, a beautiful dream that you believed I wanted to come true for you. Your heart began to race and soar at the thought of this dream becoming big and true and real. The moment your heart broke is the moment you thought your beautiful and well-cared for dream had withered and died.
But look, child.
Your dream isn't dead at all. You just don't recognize it because it's changing. Little one, I know your heart and I know your dreams. You wanted to follow this dream as it bloomed down this path because this path looked like happiness.
But I know this path, and I know that in the end, it wouldn't bring you happiness; instead, it would bring you hurt. I want to protect you because that's what Daddies do. And that's why I'm not going to allow you to go down that path. That's why I am tending to your dream and helping it to grow and change.
I know your heart hurts right now. Put it in My Hands and I will heal it. Then take My Hand and hold on tight because that dream is growing and changing into something far more beautiful than you ever imagined it could be. I can't wait to show you all I have planned to keep your spirit soaring.

Thank you, Daddy. I feel better already.